Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
It had been a nice day, one more day I’d managed to get through without collapsing. And if I’d had to shove aside the memory of a necklace with a broken heart dangling from the end when Hugh gave me my gift, I managed that, too.
It was late when he took me home, and colder than usual for this time of year. This far south we rarely had a white Christmas, but the taste of snow drifted on the air.
Hugh put his arm around me as he walked me to the door, then kissed me, a long, slow kiss that left me totally unmoved. When it was over he lifted a hand to my cheek.
“I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Natalie.”
“Goodnight.” I stood with my hand on the door, watching as he pulled out of the drive, his taillights flaring red in the steam from the car’s exhaust as he slowed for a curve. Not until he was out of sight did I glance at the silent figure hidden by the deep shadows of a corner porch post.
“What do you want, Karl?”
He shifted restlessly before he spoke. “Do you love him?” His voice sounded raw, as if he hadn’t used it in a long time.
“I don’t think that’s any of your business.”
I wasn’t expecting him to move so fast, or to grab me so desperately. “It is my business, damn it, and you know it! For God’s sake, Natalie, scream at me, cuss me out, take a swing at me, but don’t ignore me anymore.”
“Ignore you?” I tilted my head and studied him. “Let me see. The last time I saw you, you were practically making love to Lindsey in broad daylight, right out in public.
No, I’m pretty sure I didn’t ignore you.”
“It wasn’t what it looked like, I swear.”
“Right. That’s why you tried so hard to find me and explain what you were really doing.” His hands gripped my arms, fingers flexing in an unconscious rhythm.
“Would you have believed me?”
“No, and I don’t believe you now.”
“Have I ever lied to you before?”
“For all I know, everything you’ve ever told me was a lie.” I tried to pull away from him, but he hung on tighter.
“It wasn’t a lie.”
“Why did you wait until now if it weren’t true?” At least he had the grace to look down. “I didn’t plan on talking to you tonight, but I had to make sure you were all right. God, Natalie, I’ve been going crazy. I know you don’t love him, no matter what you say, but everyone’s talking about how you’re going to marry him after you graduate. Please, hate me if you have to, never speak to me again, but don’t settle for someone you don’t love because I hurt you.” The pain on his face was etched starkly in the moonlight, and I couldn’t help myself. God help me, I started to doubt what I’d seen with my own eyes and something inside me that had been frozen began to melt.
“Why were you with her like that, Karl?”
He took a deep, shaky breath. “She’s been having some problems. I’ve been helping her. That’s all it is.”
“What kind of problems?”
“Personal ones.” He hesitated. “I can’t tell you what they are, Natalie, any more than I’d talk about what you tell me to her.” He released me and stepped back. “I shouldn’t have come. I can’t expect you to believe me when it’s something I can’t explain.”
“Wait.” I followed him to the steps. “I asked you once if you’d ever made love to anyone before. You said no. Can you still tell me that, Karl?” He turned, his lower position on the stairs putting us at eye level. “Yes.” I searched his face for any sign that he was telling me the truth, and I thought I saw it. I wanted to see it because it hurt too much to keep believing he had betrayed me.
When I closed the distance between us, all the pain and anger I’d been bottling up inside flooded into the kiss I gave him. All the long months of wanting him and thinking I’d never have him again. All the love I’d tried so hard to kill without a shred of success.
And we both went up in flames.
His arms fastened around me convulsively and his voice held a frantic note when he moaned my name.
“Your room,” I whispered.
Neither of us was quite sane as his mouth came down on mine again, and I was barely aware that he’d lifted me into his arms and was moving around the house toward the barn. He must have been in there earlier because the electric stove was still on, the room warm and comfortable. In its glow, Karl put me on the narrow bed and followed me down, his body covering mine, and for the first time in three long months, I felt alive again.
Our movements were rapid and jerky as we rid ourselves of the hindering barriers presented by our clothes, punctuated by more kisses and desperate caresses. But when we were finally bare, our movements slowed. Now that the moment was here, we wanted to take our time and savor it.
Karl’s eyes turned to molten lead when he leaned on an elbow and gazed down at me. “So beautiful,” he whispered. “So damn beautiful.” He ran a hand softly down my body and I arched under his touch like a cat. “Please, don’t be afraid.”
“I’m not,” I said, realizing it was true. I’d been doing some looking of my own and was mildly surprised at his size and a bit curious to see if his erection felt as hard as it appeared, but I wasn’t afraid.
Ours was a voyage of sweet discovery that night, and we spent endless hours exploring all the secret, foreign places we’d longed to visit. And we taught each other what pleased us, hands guiding hands, then returning to tease the last place they’d found. By the time Karl’s weight pressed me into the bed we were mindless with shared pleasure. He entered me with one hard lunge and then froze, his lips raining 67 kisses of apology over my face. But the pain, while sharp, wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be, gone before I had more than registered it, and then forgotten when he began to move again. Immediately an indefinable something began to build inside me and I clutched Karl tightly, surging toward a goal I’d never known existed. When I reached it, I cried out, shattering into a million splinters of light. Karl’s groan of pleasure sounded hard on the heels of my own, his body going stiff as he found release.