Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
“This is the wrong way to go about this, James.” Aunt Jane’s face was almost as white as Mama’s, but her voice was calm. “You’re only going to upset everyone.” Mama was crying softly, hands over her face, and I broke loose from Aunt Darla to move closer to her.
“I’ve tried calling, Jane, but Ellie always hangs up on me. Natalie is my daughter. I’ve got a right to see her.”
My father? I stared at the stranger, frozen with shock as a wave of dizziness hit me.
When I was five, I had developed a curiosity about the man who was my father. After all, the other kids I knew had one and I wasn’t quite sure why I didn’t. Mama told me they hadn’t gotten along so he’d joined the navy. But I sensed my questions bothered her and soon dropped the line of inquisition. I had the Judge, so I didn’t miss not having a real father. I’d never even seen a picture of him before. The only thing I knew about my father was his name. James Tipton.
“You’re my father?” I blurted the words before I could stop myself, and both Mama and Aunt Jane shot me horrified looks, as if they only that second realized I was still there.
He took a step closer to me and lifted a shaky hand to my cheek. “Yes, I am. God, you’re so beautiful, Natalie, so grown up. I’ve been waiting to meet you for a long time now.”
“No.” Aunt Darla shoved me behind her and swatted his hand away. “Please, James. Give us a few days to talk to her, to try and sort this mess out.” Tiredly, he rubbed his forehead. “Fine. You’ve got two days. But if I don’t hear from you by then, I’ll be back.” His gaze fastened on me again. “We need to talk.” I didn’t move, simply stood and watched as he climbed into his car and drove off, then numbly followed my mother and aunts back to the kitchen. They settled Mama into a chair like she was an invalid.
“Natalie, go wet a washcloth with cold water,” Aunt Jane directed.
Knowing she only wanted me out of the room, I left, then stopped and leaned against the wall outside the kitchen. It says a lot about their state of mind that Aunt Jane never thought to see if I was listening.
“What am I going to do?” Mama sobbed.
“You have to tell her the truth, Ellie. If you don’t, James will.”
“I can’t. She’ll hate me, Jane.”
“Natalie is an intelligent girl,” Aunt Darla said. “She’ll understand.”
“No, she won’t. All her life we’ve told her to respect herself, that truth and honesty are the most important things in life, and at the same time we’ve been lying to her. How is she going to understand that? What can I say that will make her accept that her mother was never married to her father?”
I had heard enough. My breath was coming in labored gasps and spots swam before my eyes. The only thing I could think about was getting away. Grabbing the Chevy’s key, I ran out the front door, my mother’s frantic voice following me when they realized I’d been listening.
Sick to my stomach, I drove blindly, paying no attention to where I was going. My whole life had been one big lie and I didn’t know what to do, how to react. I was a bastard, no better than any of the Swanner kids. But at least Liz hadn’t put on a big act, tried to be something she wasn’t. She’d survived the only way she knew how, and I’d always respected her for that.
How could I forgive my family for what they’d done to me? How could I ever face them again now that I knew the truth?
I don’t remember where I went that night, but I wound up at the Star-Vu Drive-In.
It was closed, the concession stand and playground ghostly in the pale moonlight. I pulled the Chevy behind the screen and got out, walking barefoot to the picnic table. I was still there when Karl found me.
Without a word, he sat down and pulled me onto his lap. I curled into him and buried my face against his neck, shaking in spite of the warm night air.
“Want to talk about it?” he murmured.
I shook my head.
“Do you want to go home?”
Another shake, more violent this time.
“Okay, we’ll just sit here.” One hand stroked my hair in a soothing, repetitive motion.
“It doesn’t change who you are, you know,” he said.
“They told you?” I was humiliated and disbelieving. My family couldn’t tell me the truth, but now they told Karl?
“I don’t think they meant to. Everyone went kind of nuts when you ran off. Your mom called me at work, nearly hysterical, to see if you were there, and it sort of came out. Half the county is looking for you, but they only told people you were upset.”
“I can’t go home, Karl. Not yet.”
“So, what do you want to do?”
I thought about it. There really was only one option. “I’ll go to Jenna’s.” He stood, letting my feet slide to the ground. “I’ll follow you.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yes, I do.” He leaned down and kissed me gently, then took my hand. “Come on.
After you’re settled, I’ll go let your folks know you aren’t lying in a ditch somewhere.” Jenna wasn’t surprised to see me. Mama had called her earlier, hoping I’d gone to her house. I told her what had happened, and as I had once done for her, she tried her best to comfort me. At first, I was a little surprised my family didn’t come rushing over the second they knew where I was, but Karl had told them to give me time, that I was in no shape to hash things out just yet.
The next morning the Judge brought some of my clothes by, and when he was ready to leave he asked me to walk him to the truck.