Filed to story: A Girl Nobody Wanted Book by SansaR
“I think it is my secret… I want to keep it to myself…” he raised his head and smiled at me.
“You are insane, Luke. You can’t keep it a secret forever. You have to let that person know one day… So, one day you have to tell us too… ” I said.
“I will never let that person know about my feelings…” he said, thinking…
“What? Are you mad? Then how the hell that person know how much you love her?” I asked. I couldn’t really understand what Luke is talking about.
“I can’t let that person know about that, Sarah… I can’t, forever…” he said. His voice sounded weak.
“Why? I don’t understand…”
“That person belongs to someone else, Sarah… That person loves someone else…”
God!!! I couldn’t even believe my own ears… Did he really say that she loves someone else… My poor Luke… How you bare this pain all alone… Without even letting your best friend knows about it…
“Oh! Luke…” without even thinking twice, I hugged him tightly.
“Why didn’t you tell us about this before, Luke? Why you chose to suffer alone?” I asked.
“I told you, it is my secret…” he said, smiling. But he couldn’t hide the pain bound with his voice.
“Luke, you know that I love you a lot, right?” I asked, breaking our hug and looking at him.
“Of course, Sarah… I know it…” he said, gently patting my head.
“I am telling this because I love you so much, so don’t get me wrong… “I said.
“I will never get you wrong, Sarah… You and Jake are the most important people in my life…” he said.
“If you are so sure that you won’t tell her about your feelings forever, I think you should move on… You should really move on, Luke…”
“I can’t do that either, Sarah… I love that person way too much… I can’t love anyone more than that…” he said.
“I know how you feel, Luke… When I was obsessing over Jake, I thought the same way… I just wanted to stay single forever because I love him way too much… But when I was getting those texts and when I was started to feel cared for and loved, I could move on… I didn’t know it was Jake those days… I started to love the person who texted me… It is true, I couldn’t forget Jake, he had his special place in my mind… Yet, I could love the person I was texting with… You just need to give another chance to your heart to fell in love… Any girl in this world would love to have a kind and handsome guy like you in their lives…” I kept on talking… I love Luke so much… I can’t let him suffer from a one-sided love… He deserves happiness… Nothing but happiness…
“I understand what you are trying to say, Sarah… I really do… I have tried it a few times actually… But each and every time I failed… Now I don’t want to try again… I just want to love him to my death…”
“Him!!!!” I couldn’t even breath… Did he really say ‘HIM’?
“Him!!!!” I couldn’t even breath…
Did he really say ‘HIM’? I was staring at him like I was in a dream…
How is this even possible?
“You… Did you…Did you say… HIM…” I managed to ask.
“What?” Luke asked confusedly. He was so attached to his own thoughts. I think he didn’t even notice what he said…
“You… You said… I just want to love him to my death… You said ‘him’!!!” I said.
“Ah!” he said. I wish there were more light inside the car. I couldn’t read his facial expressions. But his voice didn’t sound like he said something he shouldn’t…
“Tell me, Luke… Did you really say so, or did I hear it wrong?” I asked.
“Sarah… you heard it right…” he replied after a small pause.
“So, you…” I didn’t know how to complete my statement…
“Yes… I am Gay…” he said.
God!!! Is this a dream? How can he be Gay? How both Shane and Luke can be gay? I have never noticed any sign that they can be gay…
Forget about Shane… I can never understand him, and he has a very mysterious character… But my Luke… He is always open… I couldn’t even believe he had a secret this huge… “Other than Jake, you are the only one who knows about this…” he said.
“Thank you for trusting me, Luke…” I replied.
Then there was an awkward silence… None of us talked for some time.
“Sarah, are you uncomfortable with me being…” he asked, breaking the silence…
“Are you mad?” I said immediately, holding his hands.
“You are my friend… You have done so much for me… I don’t care about you like girls or boys… I just want your happiness, that’s all… ” I added.
“I am so glad that I could share this with you… I don’t really want to keep this a secret, Sarah. But I don’t want other people treating me different…” he said.
“But one day, you have to come out, Luke…”I said.
“I don’t know, Sarah… Maybe one day, when I earn my own money, and I am stable…” he said.
My poor Luke… Maybe his parents are not open-minded. Sometimes he is scared of them. That’s why he keeps this a secret. I didn’t want to dig deep into that and hurt him more. “Luke, what about ‘him’?” I asked.
“Him?”
“The person you love…” I said.
“Ah! him…” He smiled.
“Who is him?” I asked.
“I told you, Sarah… That is my secret… I am sorry, but I can’t reveal it.” he said.
“At least tell me, can you keep hopes for him that one day he will return to your feelings…” I asked.
“No…” he said immediately.
“Why?”
“Because he is straight… He loves another girl, Sarah… Not a guy. He loves that girl so much… He can never love anyone else… He loves her that much…” he said.