Filed to story: Submitting to My Bestie’s Daddy Read Online >>???
My heart soared at his admission, but he didn’t seem finished, so I stayed silent.
“I spent half the night trying to apologize to you, and the other half imagining sweeping you in my arms and apologizing as soon as you got home.”
The corner of my mouth ticked up. “Do you know you still haven’t?”
He ran a hand over his face. “Would you believe me if I said no? I don’t sleep as well without you next to me.”
I nodded. He reached a hand across the coffee table, and I put my hand in his. I’d missed the warmth of his touch, even before I left. When had we last held hands? How had we forgotten?
“Carina, belissima, I am sorry. I felt like you were doubting my fidelity, and I lashed out. I love you, only you, and I didn’t like having that called into doubt. But I should never have said the things I said.” He bent and pressed a soft kiss to the back of my hand.
Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m sorry you felt like I was doubting you. I’m just scared, Gio. I’ve learned how to deal with all these physical threats, but nothing has threatened our relationship like this before. I don’t know what to do.”
He smiled softly and opened his arms once more. I nearly vaulted the coffee table in my desire to enfold myself in his arms.
For a moment, we just sat like that, hugging and tense with emotion. Finally, he leaned back, and I rested my head against his chest.
“What are you scared of?” he asked.
I craned my head to look at him. “What?”
“When Dmitri was circling, I knew what the threat was, and that made it easier to fight.” He shrugged, and my head shifted with his muscles. “Perhaps if we lay out the problem, we can get on the same team and face it together.”
I smiled. “My husband, the brilliant tactician.”
His eyes sparkled as he grinned.
“Alright,” I said. “But only if you share yours, too. You wouldn’t be this touchy if you weren’t nervous about something.”
He inclined his head. “One for one.”
I swallowed and tucked my head back into his chest to avoid his gaze. “I’m scared I’m going to want to be pregnant my whole life. Elena’s showing now, and every time I look at her, I get so jealous it hurts. I want to carry a baby, our baby, and I want it so bad it makes me do stupid things.”
“Oh, my carina.” Gio pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “I wish more than anything I could fix that for you.”
I leaned into his touch. “Not even money can fix this. But what if it keeps happening? What if I keep getting more and more jealous until I can’t even stand to be in the same room with her? What if I miss our baby’s birth because I wish I was on the table so bad?”
He squeezed me. “If it gets worse, you tell me, and I’ll hold you through it. I know how much you want this baby, and I know you won’t let anything get in the way of what you want.”
I snuggled into his arms. My fears did seem a little less all-consuming with him wrapped around me. “Now you.”
“I’m scared I won’t be a good father, or that I already am not.”
“No—” I started.
He squeezed me, and I stopped.
“I had no father worth speaking of. I have no model, unless you count James, who faked his death after Alessandro was born.”
My mouth fell open, but he plunged onward.
“He got better after that, but it’s still not what I want for our baby. I want to be the stability I didn’t have, and I don’t know how, and that scares me.”
I wrapped my arms around his torso and squeezed. “I can tell you that I think you’re going to be a great father, but you already know that.” I twisted to stare up at his stony face. “So instead, I’ll remind you that you gave yourself up to the enemy to rescue Alessandro, who’d been blackmailing you and making your life hell for weeks.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “What?”
“That’s what kind of dad you’re going to be.” I smiled. “You’re going to do whatever needs to be done, consequences be damned, to take care of our kids, no matter what mess they got themselves in. You’ve already proved that. Admittedly, I don’t have much more experience in the dad arena, but I can’t imagine wanting more.”
A smile cracked his stony face. “You make a good argument. What else?”
I took a deep breath. “I know it sounds shitty, but I’m scared you’re going to fall for Elena because she’s carrying our baby. It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just….” I chewed my bottom lip. “I want to be her so bad that I can’t imagine you not wanting that, and I really think she’s trying to get you to think the same.”
Gio sighed. “Alright, let’s talk about it. I understand your insecurity, and I’m happy to do what it takes to make you feel comfortable, but I have a hard time when you doubt me.”
I sat up in his lap to face him. “I’m not trying to doubt you.”
He nodded. “But that’s what it sounds like, and it hurts when I’m already struggling to believe I have the ability to do this.”
I stared into his eyes, absorbing his words. I hadn’t imagined how it might look from his side, that I freaked out every time I found him alone in a room with our surrogate. Compounded with his fears about being a dad… well, maybe I understood why he blew up.
“Okay, so we’ve gotta compromise.” I blew out a breath. “What about, you promise to do your best not to be alone with her, and I promise to take you at your word when you say nothing happened?”
He considered for a moment, then nodded. “That could work for me. Would that actually work for you, or would you just be ignoring your hurt?”
I smiled. Even in this difficult moment, he was checking to make sure I was really alright and not sacrificing myself for him.
“I think so,” I said honestly. “But can I ask a couple more things?”
He smiled indulgently. “Always, carina.”
I steadied myself. “Did your… extended background check on Elena pull up anything I should know about?”
Gio sighed, and his eyes went distant. “No. I’ve had Gabriele combing every avenue I can think of, and a few I’m certain he invented, and there’s nothing.”
I read hours of work in his gaze and nodded. He wouldn’t half-ass something this important.
“And can we do this—” I looked down at where our bodies met “—more often? Touching, kissing, you know. We’ve been so distant, and I miss you.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips. “I’ve missed you, too. Consider it done.”
I wound my hands into his hair. “We can do this, right?”
Gio leaned his forehead against mine. “We can do this. And there’s no one I’d rather do it with.”
I leaned in and kissed my husband, so completely in love that my worries floated away from me, if only for the moment.
*Olivia*
A few days later, I stood next to the baggage claim at Florence Airport, waiting for my mother to emerge from the terminal. She was still deciding whether she wanted to move to Italy full-time, but we were learning the sex of the baby tomorrow, and she’d gotten a few days off work to be involved.
I clutched Gio’s arm and leaned up on my tiptoes as if that would make her arrive faster. “You said a private flight wouldn’t have this problem.”
He chuckled at my impatience. “I said it would be shorter. We’re still at the Peretola, not my private strip.”
