Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
Hugh’s eyes opened and he smiled when he realized I was watching him. “What?
Was I snoring?”
“No. I was only thinking about how handsome you are.” 98
The lines around his eyes deepened when his smile turned into a grin. “I thought you’d never notice.” Carefully, he pulled me into his arms and settled my head on his chest. “Try to get some sleep,” he murmured into my hair. “We won’t land until early in the morning.”
Maybe he really does love me , I thought, amazed. And while I knew I would never experience the all-consuming passion with him that I’d had with Karl, there are more kinds of love than one. I convinced myself that eventually a steady, warm, comforting love would grow between Hugh and me. A love that had the potential to last forever.
And so, without a second thought or a quiver of anxiety, I fell head-first into a fantasy trap of my own making.
When I went to him our first night in Hawaii, I had suppressed all my nervousness and buried my misgivings beneath a veneer of calm. He was lying on the bed in our hotel room, wearing only his jeans, watching TV while I showered. There hadn’t been time to buy any sexy lingerie so I had to make do with my best cotton gown. It didn’t seem to matter to him that I wasn’t dressed in silk and lace, though. His gaze locked on me as soon as I stepped into the room.
“Make love to me,” I whispered.
He swung his feet to the floor and walked across the room to meet me. “Natalie, are you sure? I don’t want to rush you.”
“I’m sure.”
Picking me up, he carried me to the bed and made love to me with a skill that left me feeling warm and cared for, if unsatisfied. It was more than I’d expected, and at the time, I believed it would be enough.
That night also let me know that I wasn’t the first person he’d made love to. In a way, that relieved some of my own guilt. I don’t think I could have stood thinking he’d waited for me.
The rest of that week passed in a blur of sand, sun, water and getting to know each other all over again. Hugh always seemed to know when thoughts of Karl would make me sad or upset me. He’d tease me out of my moods until I was laughing with him. He even bought an outrageous flowered shirt for the baby, surprising me with it one evening while we ate dinner in our suite. I think we both hated to board a plane for home and the real world, but it was inevitable.
We went straight to our new house from the airport and discovered our families had been pretty busy in our absence. While they had taken Hugh at his word about the furniture and decorations, they had done everything else. The refrigerator and pantry was stocked to the brim with food, flowers sat on every flat surface, and the phones and utilities had all been turned on. The Judge had even brought over his tiller and plowed up a garden spot at the back of the five acres.
In the master bedroom we found they had disobeyed us in one respect. A large bedroom suite now occupied the space that had been empty the last time we were there, the bed neatly made. There was a note on the pillow and Hugh picked it up.
It’s better than sleeping on the floor, and if you don’t like it, you can bring it back when you buy a new one.Love,Mother
“What do you think?” Hugh asked me. “It was my grandparents’.”
“I love it, Hugh.” I ran a hand over the knotty pine headboard. “It fits the space perfectly.”
“Then we’ll keep it.”
The next few weeks flew by even faster than our honeymoon had. We went a little wild buying things for the house, but Hugh told me not to worry about the money. His grandparents had left him independently wealthy. Both of our families were constant visitors, helping, inspecting and generally offering opinions on everything we did.
My father was first. He showed up at the door bright and early the day after we got back. Hugh took one look at him and excused himself, claiming he had to take a shower. I refrained from mentioning that his hair was still wet from the one he’d just taken.
“Come in, Daddy.” I headed for the kitchen. “I don’t have anything to cook with yet, but we’ve got donuts and instant coffee.”
“I don’t want anything.” He leaned against the counter. “Natalie, what’s going on?
How could you marry Hugh when we both know it’s Karl you love?” I braced myself and took a deep breath. “Karl is gone, Daddy, and I’m pregnant.”
“What?” The blood drained from his face.
I faced him. “I’m pregnant.”
“Christ.” He ran a shaky hand over his face. “Does Hugh know?”
“He knows. It was his idea for us to get married. He wants the baby, Daddy.”
“But Karl-“
“Karl didn’t want me,” I interrupted. “He made that pretty clear. He even refused to write.”
“Maybe if he knew about the baby…”
Angrily, I shook my head. “Do you think I’d want to spend the rest of my life knowing he was only with me because I got pregnant?”
“He has the right to know.”
I went to him and put my arms around him. “Don’t equate this with what happened to you, Daddy. It’s not the same situation. I did what I had to do, what was right for me and the baby. Hugh has been wonderful to me, and I really do care about him. Karl is gone and he’s never coming back.”
With a sigh, he rested his chin on the top of my head and hugged me. “I think you’re making a big mistake, Baby, but I guess the decision has to be yours. I will say this. Hugh is a hell of a man, taking on something like this. I hope for both your sakes it doesn’t blow up in your faces.”