Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
Aunt Jane went with me. Neither of us dressed up, we simply climbed into the car and left. Everyone was so happy to see me up and moving that they didn’t think to ask questions.
I sat staring at the green tent when we reached the cemetery. It stood far back in one corner, with a bright yellow backhoe was parked a discreet distance away. Chairs lined the area, but no one sat in them. A pile of dirt was mounded to one side, covered by green cloth, but there were no flowers. A restless-looking minister I had never seen before stood shifting from one foot to the other as we got out. He looked at us hopefully when we reached the tent.
“Are you relatives of the deceased?”
“No.” I pointed to the coffin. “Would you open it, please, and give me a few minutes alone?”
“Of course.”
He motioned to one of the workers who stood waiting nearby, and together they lifted the lid on the top half. Frank Hayes looked better in death than he’d ever looked in life, which only stoked my anger higher. Someone had dressed him in a cheap blue suit and a white shirt, with a red and gray tie knotted around his neck. His hands were folded peacefully on his chest, and his black hair was neatly combed. Hate like I’d never known filled me, spilled over.
“You bastard,” I whispered. “I’m glad you’re dead, glad he killed you. You didn’t deserve a son like him. All you ever did was make his life miserable. And now everyone thinks he’s just like you. But he’s not. He could never be like you. He’s more of a man at twenty than you’ve ever been in your life, and even if he never comes back, he’ll make something of himself. You wait and see.” Aunt Jane put her arm around my shoulders and I nodded at the minister. When the lid was closed again, I cast one last look at it. “I hope you rot in hell, you son of a bitch.”
We left the poor minister standing there in shock, and I never shed another tear.
There was something cathartic about telling Frank what I thought of him.
The next day I went back to school. There was a lot of gossip about the killing, but I refused to listen. Hugh was solicitous and concerned, thinking I was still getting over my “virus”. Jenna knew the truth and stayed by my side constantly, watching me closely as though she were afraid I might do something drastic. Not once did she tell me, “I told you so,” and for that I was grateful. I couldn’t have made it though the next few weeks without her. When my mother insisted I buy a prom dress, Jenna went with me and chose the dress. I couldn’t force any interest in a silly dance.
Mystuporlasteduntilpromnight,whenIfinallycametomysensesenoughto realize there might be another reason for my continuing bouts of nausea and dizzy spells. A reason that was going to bring me back to life and change me forever.
Hugh picked me up right on schedule in his new Mercedes, a graduation present from his parents. Mama took pictures of us while he pinned white roses onto my shimmering red gown, then kissed my cheek. “You look like a fairy tale princess with her prince,” she said, wiping a tear away.
I smiled wanly. “Thank you, Mama.”
“Now, you two have fun tonight.”
“We will.” Hugh took my hand, escorted me to the car, and helped me inside while Mama waved from the porch. I felt like I was moving through thick water. Nothing seemed real or right, and all I really wanted to do was go curl up on the bed in Karl’s room. For Hugh’s sake, and for Mama’s, I couldn’t.
The prom was being held at the fanciest hotel in Jonesboro, and the ballroom had been decorated to a fare-thee-well with live flowers in every shade of white imaginable, all trimmed in metallic gold and silver ribbons. They adorned every table and lined the walls, creating the illusion of a snowy garden. I had to hold my breath against the cloying sweetness that filled the room.
Jenna was there with Scott, who wasn’t scheduled to leave until after the graduation ceremony Monday evening.
“You look like hell,” she whispered as the guys left to get drinks. “At least try to smile.”
I bared my teeth. “Is that better?”
“Only if you plan on biting someone.”
“God, Jenna. I don’t know what I’m doing here. I should have made some excuse.” The music was loud and noisy and couples brushed by us as they danced. The heat level in the room was rising by the minute, emanating from the tightly packed bodies.
“Natalie, you can’t keep going like this. You’ve lost weight and you look like you’re going to pass out any second.”
“It’s the heat in here. Why doesn’t someone turn the air up?” She gave me an odd look. “Are you sure you aren’t really sick? It’s not that warm in here.”
“Maybe I got carsick on the ride over.”
The guys made their way back through the crowd and Hugh handed me a glass of punch. Thank heavens it wasn’t the sugary stuff, I thought, downing the contents of the crystal glass. The tart taste of pineapple juice mixed with other fruits and ginger ale settled my stomach a bit, and I smiled at him. “Thanks.”
“More?” He arched a brow in question.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Then how about a dance?”
“Sure.” It was a slow one, and I had to admit, we moved well together. I couldn’t imagine Karl on a dance floor like this. He was too private, too introverted, to ever do anything so public. I doubted he even knew how to dance, or would have cared to learn if given the chance.
Hugh’s sudden turn brought me crashing back to the here and now as a wave of dizziness hit me. “Whoa.” I staggered, and he stopped, a look of concern on his face.
“Natalie, you need to see a doctor. This virus is hanging on way too long.”
“I’ll be okay. I think it’s the heat.”
He gave me the same look Jenna had and I knew I needed to escape for a while.
“Excuse me. I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for an answer, I headed for the nearest bathroom. A light sheen of sweat coated my skin and I wet a paper towel with cold water and patted my face, trying not to disturb my makeup as I listened to the other girls making use of the facility.