Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
It was around ten when we got home, and Karl walked me to the door. I wanted to ask him to stay, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to hear him tell me that he had to go check on Lindsey, even though I knew that’s what he’d do.
We should have had some premonition that disaster was about to strike, some primitive intuition that warned us, but we didn’t. Our entire lives were about to change, and yet neither of us had so much as an inkling that by this same time tomorrow night he’d be gone, from Morganville and from my life. And so we kissed goodbye as usual and he left. I watched him go, waiting until his truck was out of sight before going inside. If I’d known what he was walking into, I never would have let him leave.
Even from my position in the far distant future, every detail of that next day still stands out in sharp relief. The normal actions I undertook every morning gained an importance that’s etched them into my mind permanently. Why didn’t I know something was wrong? How could I have missed the silence in our usually noisy house while I went about preparing for another day of school in ignorance? How could I have spent twenty minutes fussing with my hair and trying to pick out the perfect outfit for Karl’s arrival and our revelation to my family?
Oh, God. How could I have been so happy? I was even singing under my breath as I jogged down the stairs. The first hint I had that all was not well didn’t occur until I entered the kitchen. My whole family was gathered around the table nursing cups of coffee and there was no sign that anyone had attempted to cook breakfast. It was most unusual in a home where breakfast is always done in a big way, with eggs, bacon or sausage, biscuits, gravy, homemade jelly, and butter. I don’t remember a box of cereal ever entering our cabinets.
I stopped in the door and eyed my father, puzzled as to why he would be there so early, and wearing what looked suspiciously like the same clothes he’d had on the night before. For that matter, the Judge was wearing the same clothes, too, and he appeared haggard and tired, as though he’d been up all night. Mama really should have a talk with my father about keeping the Judge out so late, I decided. After all, he wasn’t a young man anymore.
“Good morning.” I glanced at the clock before grabbing a glass and filling it with orange juice. Karl should be here any second. He was already a bit late.
“Natalie,” my mother’s voice was hesitant and there was a funny little catch in it.
“You’d better sit down, Sweetheart. We’ve got some bad news.”
“Bad news?” I frowned at her over my shoulder, wondering why she looked so pale.
“There’s no easy way to do this, Ellie.” Grim-faced, my father stood and put his hands on my shoulders. He knew, better than anyone else, what this was going to do to me. His voice was gentle when he spoke, but he gave it to me straight.
“Natalie, Frank Hayes was killed last night and the police have arrested Karl for shooting him.”
“What?” The glass slid from my fingers and shattered on the floor, filling the room with the scent of oranges. “That’s impossible. Karl couldn’t kill anyone. Why are you doing this?” My voice was rising, but I couldn’t help it. Their expressions were suddenly making me very afraid.
Anguish filled my father’s eyes and he pulled me close, holding me tightly. “It’s true, Sweetheart. God, I’m so sorry. Karl called the police himself. The Judge and I have been at the jail all night. Karl says it was self-defense and I think we’ve convinced them he’s telling the truth.”
Mama and Aunt Jane flanked us as I pushed away, doing their best to comfort me.
But there was no comfort, only shock and confusion. The reality of what they were telling me hadn’t kicked in yet, but it was barreling toward me at the speed of light.
Aunt Darla, ever the practical one, was down on her hands and knees, mopping up broken glass and juice. Tears streamed down her cheeks. Part of me hadn’t believed any of this until I saw her reaction. “Stop it,” I whispered. “Stop crying. It’s going to be okay. If they believe him, they’ll let him go.” I took a step toward the Judge. “They’re going to let him go, aren’t they? They have to let him go if it was self-defense.”
“Natalie, it’s not that easy.” He ran a hand over his forehead, dislodging his glasses.
“A man was killed.”
“Oh, God.” My legs shook and the room spun around me dizzily. Someone pushed me onto a chair. “How, please tell me how?”
The Judge took a deep breath. “Karl said Frank was drunk when he got home last night, and in a mean mood. Did a lot of screaming and yelling about how Karl had let him down, turned against him. Karl said he was trying to leave when Frank picked up a knife and swung at him.” He shook his head. “After all the beatings Frank gave him when he was growing up, it’s no surprise Karl snapped. He says the next thing he remembers, Frank was on the floor dead, and he was standing there holding the gun Frank kept.”
“But there’ll be a trial, won’t there? He’ll never be convicted, especially after we tell them about that night in the barn.”
“The sheriff knows about that night, too. That’s one of the things that helped me convince them…” He paused. “There’s not going to be a trial, Natalie. They gave Karl a choice. Either he could join the army and leave town for good, or take his chances on a manslaughter charge. He’s leaving today, as soon as the recruiter can get his paperwork filled out.”
“No.” My hands gripped the table so hard my fingers were numb. “He wouldn’t leave me.”
“He doesn’t have a choice, Natalie.” My father stood beside me while my mother and aunts sniffled and wiped their eyes. “If he doesn’t go, he could spend the next five years in prison.”
“I have to see him. Where is he?”
“He’s still at the jail,” the Judge said. “The police aren’t letting him out of their sight until he’s on a bus. Jim and I will take you.”
“Maybe I should go with you.” My mother started for the door.
“No.” As much as I hate to admit it now, somewhere in the back of my mind I partially blamed her for everything that was happening. If it hadn’t been for her stubborn insistence that I marry Hugh, if she’d stayed last night and listened to us instead of rushing off to her silly meeting, Karl might not have gone home so early. It wasn’t rational, I know, but nothing about that morning was quite sane.
She stopped. “Natalie-“
“No,” I repeated. “I’ll be fine.” Pushing away from the table, I stood, swaying as another wave of dizziness washed over me.
My father gripped my arm tightly. “Hang on,” he murmured, his voice for my ears alone. “You have to be strong for Karl. He’s in bad shape, Sweetheart.” I closed my eyes, straightened my spine, took a deep breath, and nodded. For Karl, I could do anything. “I’m ready.”
The jail in Morganville was a tiny thing, four grungy, dank cells attached to the back of City Hall where the police station was located. They served mainly as holding cells until the person incarcerated could be transported to the larger jail in Jonesboro, where the county and federal courts were located. I prayed I wouldn’t have to see Karl in one of those cells, and apparently God was listening this time. They had him in a small conference room, a burly deputy standing guard outside the door.
Karl sat slumped at the long table, elbows propped on the surface, face buried in his hands. A handcuff stretched from his right wrist to fasten around the table leg, giving him just enough room to move freely without allowing him more than a foot from the table. The pain that had been building inside me settled in my throat and chest, expanded until I struggled for breath as I closed the door quietly behind me.
A second passed before he lifted his head and looked at me, another one before recognition dawned in his eyes. In the space of one night he’d aged ten years, his face ravaged with grief and weary resignation, his beautiful eyes bloodshot and filled with a hopelessness that tore at me.
He stood slowly, and without being conscious of moving, I found myself holding him, his left arm pressing me tightly to his body. Neither of us spoke, we simply clung together, trying to comfort each other in the only way we could, though simple human touch.