Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
Two?” I stood slowly. “You can’t have us both, Karl. You need to decide who you want.”
“You’d really marry him?” His expression was one of shock mixed with despair.
I paused with my hand on the lock and looked over my shoulder. “No. But the only other solution I can come up with is for me to leave. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
Either way, I need to know what your decision is soon. If I’m leaving, I have some plans to make.”
There was no manipulation intended in my ultimatum. I meant every word I’d uttered. I’d given it a lot of thought while I was pacing the room in the barn and didn’t feel like I had much choice. Part of me was so sure he’d choose Lindsey that I’d half-settled on a destination for my relocation. Tucson, Arizona. Something about the red bluffs I’d seen in pictures appealed to me, and the city was big enough that I should be able to support myself while I went to college, without completely intimidating me like New York or Dallas would. Because if he chose Lindsey, there was no way I could stay, see them together every day.
I waited for his answer, then waited a little longer, my heart sinking as the silence deepened. I couldn’t stand it anymore. Just the fact that he wasn’t saying anything was answer enough for me. “Goodbye, Karl.” I opened the door.
“Stop.”
I hovered on the threshold, afraid to turn around.
“For God’s sake, Natalie, don’t go.”
“I don’t think God cares one way or the other. He pretty much lets me make my own decisions.”
“For my sake, then.” He moved up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.
“You’re right. About everything. I can’t force Lindsey to accept my help, and as long as I keep protecting her, she doesn’t have to do anything on her own.” His lips touched my hair. “Christ, I’m sorry, Natalie. Sorry I’ve put you through this for so long. I’ll do whatever you want. Just don’t leave me.” I turned, hope nearly choking me. “We can tell everyone?”
“Yes.” His hands caressed my neck, moved up to cradle my cheeks.
“When?”
He took a deep breath. “Tomorrow evening. Give me a chance to talk to Lindsey after work, then I’ll come straight over.”
“You’re sure?”
There was a brief hesitation, a flash of uncertainty in his eyes, but he nodded. “I’m sure.”
“Oh, Karl.” I went into his arms and our lovemaking that night was all the sweeter for knowing how close we’d come to losing each other. We lingered for hours, one minute tender, the next frantic. Karl especially seemed insatiable. We’d barely finish before he’d start again. Not that I complained. I was more than willing to spend the rest of my life in his bed, doing nothing else.
“They’re going to throw a fit, you know,” he murmured after the last time. “Are you ready for that?”
I stretched and turned onto my side, snugglinguptohimwithmyheadonhis shoulder. “I think they’ll be shocked, but Aunt Darla is the only one who’ll really fight 77 it. You know how she is. She’s like a snapping turtle. When she latches onto an idea she won’t let go until it thunders. But once Mama realizes we’re serious, she’ll give in. Deep down she only wants what’s best for me.” I ran a hand over his chest and down the hard planes of his stomach. “You’re what’s best for me. And Daddy is on our side. He’ll help us convince Mama and the others.”
“He knows?” Karl caught my hand and brought it to his lips.
“Yes. I think he’s suspected for a while now. We had a long talk this afternoon and he wasn’t a bit surprised. He likes you.”
He rolled until he’d pinned me to the bed, his elbows taking most of his weight while his hands cradled my face. “Are you sure, Natalie? I can’t give you a big house like Hugh could. It will take me a few months to even save enough for a small apartment.” I held his intent gaze steadily. “I’ve never asked for a big house. That was Hugh’s idea. And you won’t have to do it alone. Mrs. Lucas, Doctor Mansfield’s office manager, offered me a receptionist job after I graduate.”
“You shouldn’t have to work.” His fingers threaded gently through my hair.
“Oh? What should I do? Sit around all day on a satin pillow twiddling my thumbs?
Karl, I’d go crazy in a week with nothing to do. I want to work.”
“You should go to college. You’re too smart not to.” I shrugged. “I can do both. It might take me a little longer to finish, but I’m not in a hurry.”
He got quiet for a second. “I can’t believe we’re actually talking about a future together. I’m almost afraid to hope, like the powers that be will know and do something to screw it up.”
“They wouldn’t dare.”
He gave me a long, deep kiss, then rolled to a sitting position and checked his watch. “I’m not taking any chances. It’ll be dawn in another thirty minutes. We better get you back in the house.”
“Just promise me you won’t back out tomorrow.”
“I promise, I won’t back out.”
How different things might have been if he had, but at the time, I was so sure we were doing the right thing.
Thursday was sweet agony for me. I couldn’t concentrate on anything except the evening ahead. Jenna kept giving me strange looks, once asking if I was okay when I didn’t hear what she’d said.
Finally, during lunch, she cornered me. We were standing outside the school store, a small building behind the classrooms that sold everything from paper and pencils to sodas and candy. “I know something is going on. You might as well ‘fess up.” She knew me too well. If I didn’t give her an answer that satisfied her, she’d keep picking at me until I did. Still, I hesitated. It wasn’t that I thought Jenna would tell anyone. We’d kept each other’s confidences too often for that. It was more that I understood how she felt about me and Karl, and I didn’t want anything to spoil this day.