Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
The Heart of Midlothian that I was reading for my honors lit class. It wasn’t long before Mama joined me, picking up a magazine and thumbing through it casually. She stopped on a lipstick ad and studied it as if world peace depended on her picking out the right shade.
“So many choices,” she murmured. “Tell me, Natalie, is red still your favorite color?” Carefully, I closed my book and put it on my lap. “Mama, I know what you’re doing.”
“What do you mean? I’m looking at makeup.”
“No, you aren’t. You’re making wedding plans.” I took a deep breath. “Hugh hasn’t asked me to marry him, Mama. And even if he does, I might not say yes. I’m not sure I feel that way about him.”
She looked honestly puzzled. “Of course you’d say yes. Hugh is the only boy you’ve ever dated. Who else would you marry? And Helena says he’s crazy about you.
There’s no doubt he’ll ask.”
I tried a different track. “Did you ever think I would rather go to college than tie myself down with a husband?”
“Well, I suppose if you really wanted to go, you could do both. I’m sure Hugh wouldn’t mind, and it would give you something to occupy your time until the first baby is on the way.”
Mothers. Can’t live with them, can’t hit them over the head with a board. I picked up my book and went back to reading.
The episode may not have reached my mother, but it did have one enormous effect on me. I was scared out of my mind that Hugh was going to pop the question at any second. It reached the point where all he had to do was walk up behind me in the hall at school, and I nearly crawled out of my skin.
Naturally, he noticed my sudden case of nerves. “Is something wrong, Natalie?”
“No, of course not. Why would you think anything was wrong?”
“I don’t know.” He arched his eyebrows and noted my position half-in and half-out of my locker, no mean feat, let me tell you. “Call it a hunch,” he said.
I extracted myself and tried on one of those innocent smiles for size. “Honestly, Hugh. Nothing is wrong.”
“No problems at home?”
“Not a one.”
His eyes narrowed. “Has my mother been bothering you?” Which, of course, let me know she’d beenbotheringhim.Iturnedmybackand gathered the books for my next class. “No.”
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” I faced him.
“Okay.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “See you tonight? I thought we could go to the basketball game.”
“That’ll be great.” It would also be fairly safe since I couldn’t see him dropping to one knee in the middle of a crowd. Hugh wasn’t an introvert like Karl was, but he wasn’t a showoff either. He would never ask me to marry him in the hall at school, I realized with a spurt of relief. If he ever proposed, it would be in a quietly romantic way.
That thought cheered me somewhat and calmed me down, but it also made me sad.
Lucky me, I’d have to break his heart after he’d gone through elaborate preparations to make me happy.
Or so I thought.
Graduation day drew ever nearer and my whole class was abuzz with plans for the prom. As the person with the highest grade point average, I had been named valedictorian. Hugh was salutatorian, and our parents were convinced it was another sign we belonged together. Even worse, Hugh started dropping hints about the future.
“Where would you like to live after graduation?” he asked me.
Nome, Alaska, I thought glumly. But I didn’t say it. “I haven’t given it much thought.”
“They’re building some really nice houses out at Fair Oaks. You should drive over and look at a few.”
I stared at him. Fair Oaks was a new subdivision just outside of town, some big city contractor’s idea of genteel southern living. The houses were rambling modern structures, all single-story and set on a five acre plot. I knew they cost a fortune.
I also knew I couldn’t take much more of this.
Mama still wouldn’t listen to my protests about marrying Hugh, and I didn’t dare talk to the Judge, even though he’d be on my side. I was too afraid he’d suspect what was going on between me and Karl, and I didn’t know how he’d react. The Judge tended to be a tad bit overprotective where I was concerned, and I didn’t want him going after Karl with the shotgun for impugning my honor.
My father had been hanging around a lot, casting wistful looks at Mama while he chatted with the Judge. In a strange way, I think he filled the gap in the Judge’s life that Karl had once occupied. My whole family missed Karl. They knew he spent the night in the barn occasionally, but they rarely saw him anymore since he arrived so late and left so early.
One evening, after the weather turned warm, I asked my father to take a walk with me. Mama smiled on us benignly as we left. One thing about Mama. She still looked like an angel when she smiled, but by now I knew how deceiving looks could be. The woman had a stubborn streak that would put a Missouri mule to shame, and she wasn’t above using guilt to get her way.
Dad put his arm around my shoulders while we strolled in the direction of the woods, but he didn’t say much. I could feel curiosity coming off him in waves. While we had spent time alone together, going out to eat and such, I’d never really confided in him the way daughters do with fathers.
Well, he was about to get his money’s worth in one fell swoop, I decided ruefully. I only hoped he was up to the challenge.