Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
I could feel her gaze on me when I didn’t answer.
“Did you and Karl have a fight?”
“No.”
“Then what’s going on? He never comes to the house anymore, and you’re acting like someone kicked your favorite cat.”
“I don’t know, Mama. Why don’t you ask Karl?” And if she got an answer, I hoped she’d share it with me. I glanced out the back door in time to see him disappear into the shed. Every part of me surged with the longing to join him, make him talk to me, but I knew at the first sight of me he’d leave. The only time he tolerated my presence in the shed these days was when the Judge was helping him, and even then he acted like I wasn’t there.
“I’m going to my room.” I closed the journal and went upstairs, determined not to cry again. It would only make Mama give me the third degree and there was nothing I could tell her.
And so it continued for the rest of the summer. It was worse than the week before midterms in fourth grade. At least I’d known that week would end when Mooney killed me. Now I had no hope at all. Karl hated me and he didn’t show any signs of getting over it in the near future.
It was almost time for school to start when the entire thing came to a head. The resulting emotional explosion came damn near to making both Karl and me casualties of my stupidity. But something had to give. I just didn’t know it was going to be me.
Over the summer, Uncle Vern and the twins had acquired the habit of having dinner with us every Friday evening. After the meal, everyone would adjourn to the front porch for a little conversation. We all relished that brief period of time when the sun was low enough to cool things off, but full dark with its hordes of bloodthirsty mosquitoes hadn’t yet arrived.
The more I was around Uncle Vern, the better I liked him. The way he listened to me and took everything I said seriously reminded me of the Judge. And when I told a joke, he laughed in all the right places.
The twins I still wasn’t sure about. Until that night, I’d always taken Karl’s advice, never letting them catch me alone. But I was in a funky mood that particular Friday. For the last few days, my anger had built until I was in danger of being consumed from the inside out. I was tired of mooning around, worrying about Karl when he’d made it so clear that he didn’t care a flip about me.
That’s why, when the twins asked if I wanted to go to the Burger Zone with them, I turned pleading eyes on my mother. “Can I?”
She hesitated, warring emotions speeding across her face. She didn’t approve of kids hanging out at the Burger Zone, thought it was asking for trouble. But on the other hand, this was the first time I’d shown any interest in life since the tornado.
“Please?” I added, for good measure.
“Well, I suppose it would be okay this once.” She glanced at the boys. “You two watch out for her and don’t keep her out too late.”
“Yes, Ma’am. We won’t.”
Casey grinned at me and held out his hand. “Let’s go, Squirt.” The Judge’s jaw clenched, and from the way he glared at Mother I knew he would give her what-for when they were alone. He didn’t approve one bit of her letting me go.
I shoved my uneasiness aside and took Casey’s hand. Cody climbed into the driver’s seat and they squeezed me into the front between them.
“Where’s your boyfriend these days?” Casey asked.
“He’s not my boyfriend.”
“You two have a fight?”
“No. He’s just not my boyfriend.”
We were barely out of the driveway when he reached under the seat and lifted a bottle from the floor. “Drink?”
I eyed the whiskey. Once upon a time, Karl would’ve had a fit if he’d known what I was doing. That was enough to make me reach for the bottle, defiance lifting my chin.
Karl didn’t rule my life anymore.
“Sure. Why not?” I held the rim to my lips and took a big slug. Both boys laughed when I choked, tears filling my eyes as I gasped for breath. From my throat to my stomach, it felt like I’d swallowed liquid fire.
“You’ll get used to it,” Cody said. “Take another one.” The second time, I discovered that if I held my breath and swallowed like I was taking medicine, I could keep from gagging. The flames in my stomach settled into a pleasant pool of warmth that spread to my arms and legs. This wasn’t so bad, after all.
The boys passed the bottle around a few more times before we got to the Burger Zone, and I was feeling a bit lightheaded as they parked.
The Burger Zone was the place for kids to hang out in Morganville on the weekends. It was a small, seedy dive, with a few tables inside that no one ever used. All the action went on outside, in the parking lot. Jenna was going to be green with envy when she found out I’d been there with Casey and Cody. She’d been nagging her father to let her hang out at the Zone for the last year. So far, he hadn’t given in.
The place was cram-packed with cars when we arrived, and several had their doors open, the radios turned up full blast. The roar of conversation died away for a second when I climbed out of the car behind Casey, but I was too busy trying to control my rubbery legs to pay much attention. Cody put his arm around my waist to steady me.
Apparently the twins had been here often enough to develop a lot of friends, because they surrounded us now, boys and girls both, mostly seniors.
“What did you bring Miss Prim and Proper for?” Devon Garner gestured at me.
“She’s okay.”
I didn’t check to see which of my cousins had given me that ringing accolade.
“What’s wrong with me?” I glared at Devon.