Filed to story: A Girl Nobody Wanted Book by SansaR
Sweet dreams… my foot…
I normally send him a good morning message right after I wake up. But today I decided not to…
After finishing the morning housework I came back to my room, and grab the phone to check messages. I hated my self for not having self-control at all. I wanted to stay away from my phone and teach him a good lesson. But here I am desperately looking for his message.
“Good morning sunshine… are you still sleeping??”
Yes sleeping… I am going to sleep to the death…
I managed to retain my self from the growing eagerness to reply to him.
“Okay… now I am worried… I don’t think you are sleeping till 9. ” he sent another message.
I frowned at the phone. Yeah… I want you to worry, you dumbass…
He sent me emails, text messages, and WhatsApp messages… a lot of them…
“Sarah…. Just tell me if everything is ok. I am acting like an i***t right now…”
“I am coming to your house”
“Everything is ok” I sent him immediately. He doesn’t have to come all the way here… What is the big deal?
“Thank God you replied. If everything is fine, why the hell you didn’t reply”
“I was busy”
“Busy with what, not even to find a minute to reply?”
“I said I was busy”
“What is wrong? I don’t feel like everything is right”
“I don’t care what you feel” s**t did I really send that?
“Okay… this is enough. I know you are pissed at me for something. Can you please tell me the reason?”
“I think you know the reason”
“What? How the hell I know. If I knew it, do you think I will send you hundreds of messages worrying about you? Do you think I am a fool to keep the phone in my hand all this time and waiting for you to reply… Do you think if I knew the fu**ing reason I will drive all the way near your house not knowing what should I do next”
“why you care about me… I am just nobody stops bothering about me”
“Sarah… you are really getting on my nerves okay? I need a direct answer. Why the fu** you are pissed off”
Getting on your nerves… oh really? So now I am making you angry ha?
“Fu**ing answer me will you?”
“Stop talking like that” I wanted to shout at his face… How my sweet Luke even capable of talking to me like this?
“Look, Sarah… I am not a person who does sweet talk to people. I can’t even remember the last day I called someone the way I used to talk to you. I always keep people in distant, and never ever care what they do. But You are fu**ing special to me. So I fu**ing changed the way I deal with people when it comes to you. I never said anything to make you hurt, because I can’t stand you getting hurt. But you are always pushing my limits. You are making me telling things I regret. I wanted to make the moment I confess my feelings to you a magical one, but your fu**ing stubbornness made me so helpless and I had to tell it over a stupid text. Now you are being foolishly stubborn again for a reason I don’t even know and going to make me do something I regret whole my life. Stop fu**ing play with me and tell me the goddamn reason. So I can make it fu**ing right”
I stared at his text while tears rolling down my cheeks. I couldn’t even believe he was talking like this…
“if someone else made me pissed off like this I swear I will beat him until he can’t even walk. But this is you… the girl I fu**ing love more than my life. I can’t hurt you even for a second. I hate myself even for talking to you like this…”
“I will fu**ing do anything for you and you know that. But I can’t let you draw yourself away from me even for a second… you have tortured me enough now…”
I am so stupid!!! So so Stupid!!! I made him pissed off with me over just nothing… I turned him from that innocent sweetheart to this raging monster. My heart was aching, my head felt like it is going to explode.
I started to hit my self with both of hands, crying and screaming. Why you do this to me? He was nothing but nice to me. His every word made me jump with joy and assured me that I am safe. But you chose to be a stupid little bit** over just nothing. What did you want? You wanted to test how much endurance he has? You knew he is going to get worried, but you didn’t care…you fu**ing ruined everything for me… He is not going to forgive me now… Even if he forgave things won’t be same again… I was scolding my self. “Sarah!!!! This is the last time I am asking. If you don’t answer now, I am going to come to your fu**ing house and make you talk to me. Do you want me to do that?”
I would love if you come… I would love to run to your arms and apologize for being this stupid. I would love to make it up to you, personally… But this is not the right time… You were working to a plan… You wanted to take your time before telling me your true identity because you have a good reason for it. Though I know who you really are, and you have nothing to worry about, I don’t want you to do this out of anger… I want it to be a magical moment… I spoiled the whole beautiful thing of hearing you say “I love you”. I ruined it for both of us and I am not going to add this also to the same list.
“After I send you my photo I kind of wanted you to tell something. I waited for 35 minutes anxiously. Then you replied asking if I am sleepy. That made me really pissed off” even typing that to a text verified how absurd and egotistical I have been the whole time.
“What!!!! you fu**ing kidding me right? You got pissed off with me for that… Oh my God, Sarah… if only you knew what that cute face of you did to me yesterday night… I didn’t even imagine a simple photo of your face would put me in that kind of circumstance so that I even forgot to say how naturally beautiful you look…”
“What!!!! you fu**ing kidding me right? You got pissed off with me for that… Oh my God, Sarah… if only you knew what that cute face of you did to me yesterday night… I didn’t even imagine a simple photo of your face would put me in that kind of circumstance so that I even forgot to say how naturally beautiful you look…” I was frowning at his message. What kind of a circumstance is he talking about? A simple photo of my face, put him in what kind of a situation to be exact?
Did he mean….. No!!! you have got a really dirty mind, Sarah… First, you thought he is asking for a dirty picture of you and now you are thinking he did that after looking at your stupid photo… How you became this rotten ha? You have even missed the part that he said you are naturally beautiful!!! Isn’t that the thing you were so desperate to hear from him. You made all this mess just to hear this from him, and now you barely noticed it.
I don’t want to make my self further embarrassed than I am already, but on the other hand, I couldn’t really hide my curiosity either.
“What kind of a circumstance?” I swear I regret that.
“Out of everything I said, you noticed that?? ?????Anyway you are too innocent and naive to know about that princess
Too innocent and naive? After all, you don’t know about me, man…
I was really mad at my self for asking such a stupid question from him. But in the end, it seems not that bad because his text clearly shows he is not pissed at me anymore.
He is back to his usual sweet, gentle self… Or maybe not his usual self, but his usual way of dealing with me… No doubt I love his gentleness, but his rough, possessive and dominant way made me feel a totally foreign yearning deep inside me… “Anyway… I am so sorry for making a huge mess” I replied quickly, reminding he may be waiting for my reply, probably somewhere near my house.
Yeah… he may be near my house, now only it came to my mind. I ran to the window and put my head out to have a better look at the street. There were several vehicles parked down the street, but I really didn’t know what is his. I have seen him drive a few times, but couldn’t recall his vehicle. As far as I remember he was driving different vehicles most of the time.
“You don’t have to say sorry. But I do hope you will never make me worry about you like this. I am trying my best to understand you as much as possible but I have no experience with this kind of relationship with anyone. So I may not understand you exactly all the time. If you have anything to tell, even if you want to scold me, you can just do it. But if you ever keep on not replying me, and ignoring me like this God knows what I will do”
“That will never happen :(” but I would love to see what you will do if that happens…
“That’s better….okay then. since you are fine, I think I should go and get my car repaired now”
“Why what happened to your car”
“What happened!!! I faced an accident when driving like an i***t worrying about you”
“What? God are you okay?” what have I done? I made him got into an accident.
“I am okay… my car got damaged a bit that’s all”