Filed to story: Swallow Me Whole (Sadie & Ashton) Book Free
His shoulders sag, deflating in defeat. “I’m sorry you had to see that. It didn’t mean anything.”
I grit my teeth to keep from yelling at the bastard. Maybe I expected an ounce of remorse, but all I’m getting is regret that he got caught.
“Can I come in and explain?”
“At least be honest,” I say, glaring at him. “Call your ‘explanation’ for what it is—a pathetic excuse.”
“Okay! You’re absolutely right. I have no explanation for what happened, other than to say I gave in to a moment of weakness.”
“Sounded like a lot more than just one moment. I believe the words you said were ‘you take it like a whore every time.'” I arch a challenging brow at him. Those words are ingrained in my memory, and I just dare him to deny it.
“I’m sorry, Sadie. I tried being patient with you, but I’m only human. Will you forgive me?”
“I might be able to forgive you someday, Jake, but no way in hell will I forget it.”
“Don’t end things like this,” he pleads. “You’re too important to me.”
I’m too important…meaning my father is the boss, and he doesn’t want things to get awkward at the office since I work there too.
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he adds, a note of desperation entering his tone.
“You didn’t.” I gesture to the parking lot where his black luxury sedan awaits. “So you can go back to your assistant with a clear conscience.”
“C’mon, Sadie. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
“Don’t insult my intelligence.”
At that moment, my neighbor exits her apartment. She glances at the two of us for a few seconds before offering a small wave. As she makes her way down the stairs, I don’t blame her for getting the hell out of Dodge. The tension between Jake and me is palpable.
“Do you really want to do this out here?” he asks, giving the area a surreptitious glance.
“I don’t want to do this at all.”
“Your father is my boss. Please, Sadie. Give me another chance.”
How ironic that Jake is the first guy my father approved of. Like me, my dad was blind to Jake’s true nature, only seeing the front Jake perfected. The mature, intelligent guy with his shit together. Clean cut, no tattoos, well-dressed. Well-mannered. He shaves every day, doesn’t miss a day of work, and opens doors for women. He drives a nice car, owns his own home, and would make the ideal husband.
That’s all Dad sees.
And once I started dating Jake, all I saw was how my father began looking at me with warm pride in his eyes again. It had been a while since I’d felt good enough in his presence, since I’d felt worthy of his approval. I might not be on my way to becoming a lawyer, but at least I’d snagged one.
Jesus, I feel stupid. I swallow bitter laughter at what a joke this relationship turned out to be. I’ve had some shitty boyfriends in the past, but none of them treated me with such blatant disrespect—they just dumped me and moved on to someone willing to spread her legs.
They didn’t do it behind my back.
I wonder what my father would think of that. I already know I won’t tell him. The last thing I want is to stir up chaos at the firm. Doing so will only accomplish a shitty work environment.
“Let’s just call this a mistake and move on.”
Jake shakes his head, his jaw forming a stubborn line. “We have to work this out.”
“If you’re worried about your precious job, don’t be. I won’t tell my father what a douchebag you are.”
He winces at my harsh words. “I know I screwed up, but I care about you. As far as I’m concerned, this isn’t over.”
“As far as I’m concerned, it is.” Without giving him time to argue further, I slam the door and turn the lock. Of course, he doesn’t go away that easily. For the next fifteen minutes, he pounds on the door, pleading his case through the barricade keeping him outside.
Tiring of his bullshit, I threaten to call the cops, prompting him to at least leave my doorstep. It isn’t long after when my phone starts ringing, again and again as his too-handsome face flashes on the screen with that smug smile I used to find sexy. Growling under my breath, I switch it to silent.
I don’t have the nerves for this today, considering my…date tonight with Ashton. Thinking of it as a date doesn’t set right with me, but calling it a casual get together with a friend isn’t going to cut it, either. My stomach ties itself into knots as the day passes, bringing me closer to seven. I don’t think my apartment has ever been so clean. I’m sure Mandy will appreciate my lack of concentration.
I can’t eat. All I can do is think about tonight…and Ashton touching me. The thought of putting my mouth on him again makes my panties wet. It sends my heart into overdrive.
Jesus. My palms are sweating something fierce. But I don’t want to analyze the reasons why too closely. If I do, I might find something I don’t want to face.
Ashton is only a friend. Nothing more, and that’s the way it has to be.
So why am I doing this?
A vision of Blondie on her knees flashes through my mind, and that thought alone is what gets me out of my apartment and on my way to Ashton’s. Maybe I have no self-respect, but I want to be like her—sexy and confident enough to take charge.
I don’t want to spend my life as a spinster because I can’t get past my hang-ups. If Ashton can help me, then I have to take the risk. There has to be some reason I crawled under that table last night. On some subconscious level, I want him to lead me down this road.
By the time I’m standing on his doorstep, I’m shaking in my boots. Maybe not literally, but it sure feels like it. A curious vibration buzzes through my body, originating between my legs. I’ve been turned on before, but nothing and no one has ever gotten me so worked up as he managed to, which is insane. It’s like our history turned to dust, and the illusion of friendship was snuffed out in the process.
Not knowing what awaits me on the other side of that door makes me feel more alive, more turned on, than I ever have in my entire life, and instinctively, I know I made the right decision in coming here. Letting out a shaky breath, I raise my hand and knock.
And I realize as I do how ridiculous this is. I never knock on Ashton’s door—I always walk in. He and Mandy are my family, and we’ve had an open door policy for years. How can the idea of intimacy change everything in the blink of an eye?
The door swings open, and the first thing I notice is the frown on his face. “Why are you knocking? You know you’re always welcome here.” He opens the door wider and ushers me inside before taking my coat. I swallow a sigh as his fingers trail over my shoulders.
“I’m just nervous, I guess.”
“No reason to be,” he says, his tone softening as he hangs up my jacket in the closet by the door. “Bryce is gone for the night,” he adds, referring to his roommate, “so we have the place to ourselves.”
As I follow him through the two bedroom house into the dining area, he glances at me from over his shoulder. “I made dinner. I figured we should eat first.”
“Yeah. Okay.” The table is already set, and the smell of food has my stomach rumbling with the reminder that I haven’t eaten much today. He pulls a chair out for me.
“About Mandy,” he says as I slide into the offered seat. “I think the less she knows about this, the better.”
That’s one thing we can agree on. Mandy wouldn’t understand, and I doubt she’d approve of my arrangement with her brother. Mandy and I don’t have secrets…except now we do.
Ashton disappears into the kitchen, leaving behind heavy silence. I’m not sure what I’m doing here, yet I can’t bring myself to move from this chair and bolt. He returns a few moments later, carrying a serving dish in each hand.
Leaning forward, I take a peek after he sets the food on the table, and I can’t help but shoot him a grin. “Mac and cheese, and broccoli? Some things never change,” I tease.
“Mandy stole the cooking gene,” he says with a sheepish smile. “I can teach you to suck cock like a pro, but this is all I’ve got in the cooking department.”
I burst out laughing. In some strange way, his bold statement sets me at ease. This is the same old Ashton I’ve known most of my life. Sweet, endearing…even if he is a manwhore. He’s never failed in the friend department.