Filed to story: The One That Got Away
He shakes his head. “I’m fine.” And then he says, “You know what I don’t get?”
“What?”
Josh stares at me, his cheeks a dull red. “Why you never said anything. If all that time you felt like that about me, why didn’t you say anything?”
My whole body goes stiff. I wasn’t expecting that. I’m not prepared. I swallow hard and say, “You were with Alice.”
“I wasn’t always with Alice. The stuff you wrote – you liked me before I ever liked her. Why didn’t you just tell me?”
I let out a breath. “What does that even matter now?”
“It matters. You should have told me. You should have at least given me a chance.”
“It wouldn’t have made a difference, Josh!”
“And I’m telling you it would have!” He steps towards me.
Jerkily I rise to my feet. Why is he bringing this up now, just when things are back to normal again? “You’re so full of it. You’ve never thought of me that way, not ever, so don’t go trying to reinvent history now when I have somebody.”
“Don’t tell me what I think,” he snaps. “You don’t know my every thought, Bella.”
“Yes, I do. I know you better than anyone. You know why? You’re predictable. Everything you do. It’s so predictable. The only reason you’re even saying this now is because you’re jealous. And it’s not even because of me. You don’t care about who I’m with. You’re just jealous that Louis took your spot. Kitty likes him better than you now too.”
His face darkens. He glares at me and I glare back. “Fine!” he yells. “I’m jealous! Are you happy now?”
And then he jerks his head towards mine, and he kisses me. On the lips. His eyes are closed, mine are wide open. And then mine close too, and for a second, just for a second, I kiss him back. Then I break away. I push him off.
Triumphantly he says, “Did you predict that, Bella?”
My mouth opens and closes, but no words come out. I drop the broom and run up the stairs, as fast as I can. I run all the way to my room and lock my door behind me. Josh just kissed me. In my living room. My sister is coming back in a few weeks. And I have a fake boyfriend I just cheated on.
After third period, Lucas is waiting for me.
He’s wearing a skinny tie today with a V-neck and he has a full-size bag of Cheetos in his hand. He stuffs a handful of Cheetos into his mouth, and orange dust floats on to his white V-neck. The corners of his mouth look slightly orange too. With his mouth full he says, “Look, there’s something I need to tell you.”
I laugh. “I can’t believe I ever thought you were so refined,” I say, blowing Cheetos powder off his shirt. “What do you need to tell me?” I ask. I steal a few Cheetos out of the bag. When he hesitates, I say, “Lucas, I hate when people say that they have something to tell you and they don’t just say it. It’s like when people say they have a funny story – like, just hurry up and tell the story and I’ll decide for myself if I think it’s funny or not.”
Lucas licks cheese off his lips. “Well, you know I live in the same neighbourhood as Genevivian, right?” I nod. “Last night I saw Kavinsky leaving her house.”
“Oh.” That’s all I say. Just “oh”.
“Normally I wouldn’t think it was that big of a deal, but there’s one other thing.” Lucas wipes his mouth off with the back of his hand. “Genevivian and her college guy broke up over the weekend. You know what that means, right?”
I’m nodding but I’m numb inside. “Yes… Wait, what?”
Lucas gives me a look that’s half pitying, half impatient. “She’s going to try to get Louis back, Bella!”
“Right,” I say, and I feel a pang even as I’m saying it. “Of course she will.”
“Don’t let her,” he warns.
“I won’t,” I say, and the words come out soft like jelly, without any conviction at all.
I didn’t know it until now but I think maybe I’ve been counting down to this moment all along. For Genevivian to want Louis back. For Louis to figure out this whole thing has been a zany little detour and now it’s time for him to go back where he belongs. To the person he belongs to.
I wasn’t planning on telling Louis a thing about Josh kissing me. I really wasn’t. But then, as Lucas and I are walking together, I see him and Genevivian walking down the hallway. Lucas gives me a meaningful look, which I pretend not to see.
In chemistry class I write Louis a note.
You were right about Josh.
I tap him on the back and slip the note in his hand. When he reads it, he sits up straight and immediately scrawls something back.
Be more specific.
He kissed me.
When Louis stiffens, I am ashamed to say that I feel a little bit vindicated. I wait for him to write back, but he doesn’t. As soon as the bell rings, he turns around and says, “What the hell? How did that even happen?”
“He came over to help us trim the tree.”
“And then what? He kissed you in front of Kitty?”
“No! It was just the two of us at the house.”
Louis looks really irritated, and I’m starting to regret mentioning it. “What the hell is he thinking, kissing my girlfriend? It’s fucking ridiculous. I’m gonna say something to him.”
“Wait, what? No!”
“I have to, Bella. He can’t just get away with it.”
I stand up and start packing up my bag. “You’d better not say anything to him, Louis. I mean it.”