Filed to story: My Life with the Walter Boys Book (I & II) PDF Free
“Will wanted to go see Nathan, but he didn’t want to leave you alone, so he called me.”
I lay back down on the couch so I wouldn’t have to look at him. After falling asleep, Will must have tucked a blanket around me and I pulled it up to my chin now for protection. “But why are you here?” I asked, rephrasing my question.
“Because I was worried about you.”
I forced a laugh. “Please, you don’t need to lie.”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Cole, stop pretending like last night and everything that went down at the party didn’t happen,” I said. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit right now.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“Good. Then you’ll understand that I want to be alone.”
“Jackie, please listen to me,” he said, ignoring my request. His voice was barely audible, almost as if he was hurting just as much as me. I gritted my teeth together and ignored him. “I came here to apologize. And to take you home.”
I remained quiet a moment longer, still thinking. Could I really call the Walters’ house home? For a few weeks, it had started to feel something like that, but after what happened at the party and with Lee, I knew it wasn’t.
“Jackie, please say something.”
“Why should I go anywhere with you?” I said in response. “The past two times I’ve done that, it’s ended terribly.”
“Okay, I know I might have hurt your feelings, but—“
“Might?” I demanded, sitting up to glare at him. His words put fuel in my system, like someone struck a match inside my chest, and I narrowed my eyes, trying not to explode. “I lost my family, moved across the country to live with strangers, and was then treated like crap by the likes of you, and you think it might have hurt my feelings?”
Instead of lashing out like I thought he would, Cole hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“What?” I asked, putting a hand to my ear. “I can’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry. I was a jerk.”
“Oh, a jerk?” I snapped. If this was his apology, he was doing a lousy job. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Cole.”
Cole’s nostrils flared, but he didn’t show any other signs of his rage. “Hey, I’m trying to apologize here, okay?” When I didn’t respond, he took a deep breath. “I suppose I was jealous,” he finally said, looking down at the shaggy carpet.
“Jealous?” I echoed.
“Yeah.” He sounded hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure of his answer. Then he continued, “Of Alex.”
“What about Erin, Olivia, all those girls?”
“That’s just it,” Cole said, his fists clenching in frustration. “I don’t like any of those girls. It’s just—I don’t know. I feel like my friends have this expectation of who I am and how I should act. And then there’s Alex, and things just come so naturally to him.”
I laughed. “Things come natural to nerdy Alex, but not to superstar Cole?” I said bitterly.
“Yeah,” he said, looking right at me. “When it comes to relationships they do. He just acts like himself and everything goes so perfectly.”
“Perfectly?” I said. “You mean like with Mary?”
“Listen,” Cole said, holding up his hands. “I know that I can be a dick, but I swear, I would never do something like that to Alex. She told me that he dumped her. As soon as I found it was the other way around, I told her to get lost.”
I didn’t know what to say to this.
“Jackie,” Cole continued. “I shouldn’t have dragged you and your feelings into this, but I saw how close you and Alex were getting, and I just didn’t want to—” He paused, trying to think of the best way to phrase when he was saying. “I was selfish and afraid of being—“
“Alone?” I finished for him.
“Yeah,” Cole said, nodding his head. “I was afraid of being alone.”
“Welcome to my life,” I told him sadly.
Chapter 13
It took Cole half an hour of coaxing before he convinced me to leave Will’s. On the ride back to the ranch, I asked how Nathan was doing.
“He’s okay,” Cole said, taking his eyes off the road to glance at me. “He was asking for you.”
I didn’t respond to that. I felt guilty that I hadn’t been there for Nathan.
“I can take you to see him tomorrow if you want.”
“Sure,” I said curtly, and after that, Cole got the message that I didn’t want to talk. I was still furious with him, but I didn’t have the energy to fight anymore. When the truck was finally parked in the Walters’ driveway, I opened the door and shot out.
“Wait, Jackie!” Cole called, but I was already rushing to my room.
Part of me wanted to go to Alex and Nathan’s room. Over the past month, the half-messy, half-clean space was where I spent most of my time. It had become a type of retreat, a place where I felt comfortable, and the posters on the walls were as familiar as the mural in my own room. But Alex would be there. Not only that, but he was probably still mad at me, and all I wanted was to be alone.
For the most part, the Walters let me be. Everyone except Katherine came home from the hospital at lunchtime, yet the house remained calm. Still reeling from the shock of Nathan’s accident, none of the kids were their usual rambunctious selves. At one point in the afternoon Parker knocked on my door looking for Jack and Jordan, but even she wasn’t in the mood to give me one of her signature sneers.
I didn’t go down to the kitchen for lunch or dinner, but at seven someone knocked on my door. Alex nudged it open with his shoulder. He was carrying a tray with a bowl of tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich.
“You hungry?” he asked, gesturing down at the food.
Even though I was surprised to see him, I barely moved from my spot on the bed. The day’s events had left me mentally drained, and all I could manage was a shrug. My stomach felt empty, but not because I needed food.