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Chapter 45 – If He Had Been With Me Novel Free Online by Laura Nowlin

Posted on May 21, 2025 by thisisterrisun

Filed to story: If He Had Been With Me Book PDF Free

“I already know what you’re going to say, so can we just skip it?”

“Why don’t call you one of your friends?” Mom says. “Why hasn’t Sasha been by?”

“The Sasha who slept with Jamie right before prom?” I feel her body tense. I curl up in a ball and pull the blankets over my head.

“I’m so sorry,” Mom says. I don’t answer her, even though she waits. She clears her throat. “What about Brooke?”

“Jamie’s cousin? I’m sure she really wants to hear all about what a bastard he is.”

“Angie—“

“Is gonna go into labor pretty soon now, Mom.”

She is quiet and still, and I hope that she is giving up and leaving.

“I don’t suppose—one of the boys?” she says.

“Mom! Just go, please?”

I feel the mattress shift and hear her walk across the floor. She closes the door behind her. I shut my eyes and try to sleep again.

***

When I open my eyes again, it is late afternoon, and Mom is standing at my door.

“You need to get up,” she says.

“No.”

“Finny’s coming over.”

“What?” I sit up as if a bolt of electricity has shot through me. Mom goes to the closet and seemingly reaches in at random, pulling out a blue tank top.

“Why is he coming over?” I say. Mom lays the tank top down on the bed next to me and crosses over to the dresser.

“He’s coming to see you. Do you have a strapless bra clean?” She opens the top drawer of my dresser.

“I haven’t even showered! And I don’t want to see Finny!” I say. Mom ignores me and opens another drawer.

“Jeans or a skirt? You haven’t shaved your legs, have you? Here.” She tries to hand a pair of jeans to me, but I swat them away.

“He’ll be here in ten minutes so you better hurry.” She turns away from me and walks out.

“Mom!” I shout at her retreating back. She ignores me. I jump out of bed and run to the bathroom.

***

When I hear him on the stairs, I am dressed, but my hair is still wet, and I’m not wearing any makeup. I grab a hair band and hastily pull my hair into a ponytail. He knocks. I look around my room. I’ve been eating here for the past three days, and I realize that, while I was showering, Mom came in and cleared out all the empty wrappers and dirty plates. I sit down on my bed. It’s been made.

“Come in,” I say. The door opens a crack and Finny’s face glances around the corner and looks at me, then he opens the door the rest of the way and stands in the threshold.

“Hey,” he says. He’s already blushing a little.

“Hi,” I say. He looks at me like he’s waiting for me to do something. “Are you going to come in or lurk in the doorway like a vampire?”

“I’ll come in,” he says. He crosses the room and pulls out the chair from my desk. He sits facing me with one elbow on the desk. I pull my knees up to my chest and lean against the headboard.

“I’m sorry they made you do this,” I say.

“Who?” Finny says.

“The Mothers.” He shakes his head.

“They didn’t,” he says. “It was my idea.” He’s looking down at his lap. He doesn’t move. He just sits there with me. I look at his shoulders and his hands. His hair is even more golden from the summer sun. Something stirs in me, and I push it down again. I’d rather feel nothing.

“You should know though,” Finny says, “they’re really worried about you.”

“I know,” I say. He raises his head and looks at me.

“They’re talking about calling that doctor with the weird name.” I sit up straight and let my feet fall to the floor.

“Singh?” Finny nods. “Oh God, he’s the last person I want to see.”

“Why? What’s wrong with him?”

“I dunno.” I shake my head. “He’s writes down everything I say in this file. And every time I see him, he makes me stand on his scale.” Finny frowns.

“Why?”

“He thinks I’m anorexic,” I say. The corners of Finny’s mouth twitch up. “It’s not funny,” I say. Finny grins and shakes his head.

“It’s kinda funny,” he says. I can’t help but smile a little when he looks at me like that.

“Okay,” I say, “maybe it’s a little funny. But I do not want to talk about Jamie with him.” When I say his name, a knife stabs my guts, and my smile fades.

“I’ll take care of it,” Finny says.

“You’ll convince them not to call him?”

“Under one condition.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

Finny stands up. “Come get some ice cream with me,” he says. I sigh and pull my knees up to my chest again.

“Finny, I really don’t want to go anywhere today,” I say. Finny grabs my arm and pulls me up. “Hey!” I say.

“Where are your shoes?” he asks. He sees some flip-flops in the corner and drags me over. “Put these on.”

“These don’t match my outfit,” I say. “And I’m not wearing a tiara.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he says. “Come on.” I slide my feet into the shoes and Finny walks me downstairs, still holding my arm. The Mothers are down in the kitchen drinking iced tea. Both of their faces light up when they see us.

“We’re going to get ice cream,” Finny says.

“I’m being kidnapped,” I say.

“Good job, Phineas,” my mom says.

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