Filed to story: The Healer and The Wolf PDF Free
I stood there for a long while, completely lost in thought. It wasn’t a rare occurrence lately-I definitely had a lot of thoughts to work through. However, my contemplation was cut off by claws slipping on something a little too smooth, followed by a sharp yowl.
“Hello?” I asked, heading toward the noise. “Are there kitties in here getting into trouble?”
Another yowl answered me as I rounded the corner into the kitchen to see the orange cat, Fork, hanging from the fridge with the leader of their cat colony, Mudpie, sitting atop it, her paw raised as she was about to step down onto Fork’s own paws. His singular eye was opened wide like he was truly in the climax of a great Shakespearian tragedy.
It reminded me of a movie, but I couldn’t place which one, and Goober’s anxious meow below prompted me to move instead of getting stuck in another recollection loop. He was pacing back and forth, occasionally standing on his hind legs like he wanted to give Fork a boost back to safety. But while the gray cat was large, he wasn’t that large, and couldn’t quite reach Fork’s dangling feet.
“Would your mother approve of this?” I asked, looking straight into Mudpie’s bright, yellow eyes. “I’m sure she raised you to have better manners.”
Even though I was a shifter, it wasn’t like I had a special way to communicate with most animals. It didn’t work like that. But Ven spoke to her cats like they understood so often that I assumed they would do the same for me.
And for a moment, Mud Pie did look at me as if she were considering my words. But that lasted only a few seconds before she reared her paw back and skibbity-bapped Fork in the head until he let go and tumbled to the floor.
For some reason, wildebeest came to my mind. I had no idea why. Probably the root of another phantom memory. But I knew Ven would be horrified if one of her cats ended up hurt on my watch, so I scooped Fork up to make sure that he was okay. After a couple of treats, exactly two kisses, and five minutes of being cradled upside down, the orange menace was perfectly fine and raced up the cat tree to give himself a bath.
It was funny. I had almost no memory of interacting with domestic cats before, but I was slowly growing to like the trio of chaotic creatures. They all had their own distinct personalities, and the hijinks they got into were low stakes but endlessly entertaining. After everything I’d been through, low stakes was more than welcome.
Also, a regular steak would be welcome. I’d been having more and more memories of cooking red meat on an outdoor fire for some reason, and my body craved it something fierce. However, I got the impression that red meat was expensive, and Ven didn’t have much money as it was, so I wouldn’t ask.
Hmm, maybe there was a way I could get money myself to purchase some? It would be a nice way to thank the woman who had literally changed everything for me.
That seemed like something a book could help me with, so once I was sure the cats were settled, I returned to the living room and dived into some of the nonfiction pages.
I didn’t realize quite how much time had passed until the front door opened and Ven stepped in. Like usual, all the cats ran to greet her, but unlike usual, she didn’t call out her normal phrase.
Something was wrong.
I was on my feet in an instant and rounded the corner to the small foyer at the front of the house. I could tell just by looking at the beautiful woman that she seemed so very defeated, and when her scent hit me, it confirmed it. It was bitter, acrid, with a strong rush of melancholy. My nose burned, and my heart ached for her. What was wrong? What could have happened? Not for the first time, I wished that there was something I could do for her.
“Are you okay?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to pry too much.
“I’ll survive,” she said flatly. “I need to feed the cats.”
She drifted past me, her scent lingering like camphor from a fire. I didn’t know if she wanted privacy, but since she hadn’t said it directly, I followed after her.
She didn’t say anything for a long while, but that was okay. I was comfortable with the silence. I was used to weeks of it at a time when I was a wolf. She uttered the occasional request, like to pull something out of the fridge or grab something from a shelf, but that was about it. She didn’t seem irritated at my presence, though. Not even when I followed her out to the garden.
Perhaps it was strange, but it made me feel incredibly close to her. Something was clearly troubling Vanessa, and I remembered that usually meant people wanted space. To be alone. But Ven didn’t seem to mind my presence at all. No, to me, it seemed like she appreciated it. Especially when I helped her carry several trays of her plants to the garden.
Although I was dying to ask her what was wrong, I held my tongue and did as she instructed, placing certain potted plants in different areas. When I wasn’t needed, I sat on a low stool a short distance away, hoping my company would give her some comfort.
God, I wanted to reach out and touch her. Wanted to wrap my arms around her and pull her flush against my chest. Her body would feel like heaven against mine. But our relationship wasn’t like that, so I remained on my stool.
“Sometimes I feel like I don’t belong in this world.”
She spoke out of nowhere so suddenly I almost didn’t catch it right away. I immediately looked up from the stick I had been fiddling with, giving her my full attention.
“There are all these things people are supposed to do as a matter of course, but they don’t seem like a matter of course to me, and sometimes it feels like everyone around me can just tell that I don’t get it.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, completely mystified. I hated seeing Ven so hurt, but I was afraid I didn’t quite understand what she was talking about. To me, it sounded like she didn’t have any sort of community, any sort of family, and I simply couldn’t imagine that.
Although my memories were hazy, I knew I had grown up surrounded with a core group of people I could trust. And while I could feel there was tragedy wound up in it, I had never been truly alone, even as an alpha. Although I was slightly hazy on what exactly it meant to be an alpha.
“For what it’s worth,” I hedged cautiously, “I like to think I get you.”
She huffed a dry laugh full of pain and derision, and I didn’t like the sound when it was directed at herself. “I suppose it says something about me that a wolf who’s trying to connect to his humanity after being cursed understands me better than any humans I know.”
“Or it says something about you being able to break the curse that denied me my humanity.”
I caught the change in her scent before I noticed her cheeks redden. A streak of pride went through me because I’d made her blush. “You’re biased.”
“It doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”
“Touché,” she murmured before returning her attention to the plants.
I wanted the conversation to continue, but I sensed Ven was grappling with her own internal struggle. I wanted to take her hand, tell her everything would be okay, but I had no way of knowing that. At least I could take solace in the fact that the bitterness in her scent had faded slightly. Even if she didn’t believe my compliments, it had cheered her up a bit.
And while that was enough for the moment, I found myself wishing yet again that I could do more. I felt a bit helpless, not like an alpha at all. Although I supposed Ven wasn’t technically my pack, but I still felt like I should be protecting her. How, though, did I protect her from a world I was only just beginning to remember?
So much from before I was cursed was still fuzzy, but I could faintly recall most of my time as a wolf. Even as an animal, I had places I could go that were havens of a sort. Ports in the storm of life where I could be at peace.
“Ven,” I murmured, not wanting to jolt her as she scribbled something onto a label, then placed it next to the starter she was planting-a variety of tomato given the trellis she’d buried it next to.
“Yeah?”
“Would you like to go for a walk with me?”
She fully paused what she was doing to lift her head and gave me a curious look. God, I didn’t think I would ever grow tired of her gaze on me. “Where to?”