Filed to story: The Alpha’s Pen Pal Book
Her emotions have been flying towards me since that day, unstemmed and unfettered.
I’m not sure why I couldn’t feel them before, but I’m guessing it’s because it was such a big, raw, and vulnerable moment for her. To stand in front of all her friends and pack mates and be unable to shift into her wolf—I’d say I could only imagine how she felt, but I don’t need to imagine it. I felt every bit of embarrassment and defeat.
I will give her some space. Like I did after her challenge. I will wait for her to contact me, to reach out to me, like I waited for her the last few days.
Even though I don’t want to. Because I will do anything for her.
It’s late,
and the full moon hangs high in the sky, illuminating the entirety of the grounds as I exit the packhouse, a small container of chocolate chip cookies in my hand. The rehearsal is over, and I’m not sure how much of it I remember beyond where I am supposed to stand during the ceremony and sit during dinner.
The almost endless flow of Taryn’s emotions ebbed at some point while we had dinner with the bridal party and Wes and Haven’s families, but I didn’t taste any of Luna Emily’s famous homemade spaghetti bolognese or take part in much of the small talk or joking. I’m sure the others noticed I wasn’t myself, but I don’t care at this point.
I’m a mess of a male. I always have been, but it’s more clear now that I’ve met her. I lived in a foggy world of gray haze until she came into my life. When I’m with her, the clouds clear and the earth sings. Colors are more vibrant and everything makes sense.
And when she’s gone, that gray haze creeps back in, inch by inch, covering the sun and muting the music and the rainbow of light she brings with her.
It’s sappy and cheesy but it’s the truth.
I head down the front stairs of the packhouse, then turn right, making my way towards the garden. A figure leaps from a tree branch onto the second-floor roof, and I pause, squinting my eyes against the backdrop of the full moon.
“Wes?”
He whips around and looks down at me, a sheepish grin on his face. “Oh. Hey, Reid,” he says, waving before turning to face the house.
“What are you doing?”
“Sneaking into my old room on the third floor. That’s where Haven is sleeping.”
I laugh and shake my head. “You really can’t spend one night without her?”
“Nope.”
He reaches up to the ledge of the window to his old room and pulls himself onto it.
“Why not just go through the house?” I ask.
“Everyone is in the living room. They’ll all see me, and Shirley is insistent that we not see each other before the wedding. She doesn’t care that we’re technically already married in werewolf terms since I marked Haven. She wants Haven to have the fullest experience possible. But I can’t sleep without her, and she can’t sleep without me.”
He raps on the window, and I chuckle again and continue on my way. I can’t make fun of him, because I’m now familiar with the empty, hollow feeling when your mate is absent from your bed. I’ve only spent one night with Taryn in my arms—one blissful night—but every night since, it has been a struggle to fall asleep and stay asleep without her near.
My journey to the garden is once again interrupted as I cross paths with Nolan. He swings his car keys around on his fingers as he walks to the parking lot, nodding at me.
“Where are you going?” I ask.
He glances at me over his shoulder, sticking his hand in his pocket. “I’m picking Rachel up from the airport.”
“Really? Why?”
He shrugs. “Because she asked me to.” I raise my brow at him. “We’re still friends, even though we broke up. We ended things on a pleasant note,” he says, scratching his chin. “It was mutual. She was moving for her job and…” He trails off and shrugs again. “Like I said. It was mutual and amicable.”
“Is she staying with you?”
He scoffs. “No. We both agreed that would just be—” He purses his lips and covers his mouth, clearing his throat. “Anyway, no. She’s staying with her parents.”
“Well, tell her I said hey and that she’s missed around here.”
“Do you want to come with me? Then you can tell her yourself,” he asks, jerking his thumb over his shoulder towards the parking lot.
“No. I think I’m going to go on a late-night run.”
“All right. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”
He waves and walks off. I watch him get in his car and drive away before I walk the last stretch of land to the garden. My thoughts swirl and spiral provoked by my interaction with Nolan. Somehow, the nicest one of the four of us is the one who got rejected without his mate even giving him a chance. If anyone deserved that, it was me. Not Nolan.
But I may join his ranks soon. I’ve fucked things up, down, sideways, diagonally, and inside out. It will be a miracle if Taryn forgives me.
I need to remedy everything with her soon. I need to come clean and own up to all my misdeeds.
The path in the garden winds and twists, much like the thoughts and emotions in my head—the emotions that are both mine and my mate’s. The gravel path ends at a small birdbath in the shape of a sunflower. Ivy wraps around the base, and the beds on either side are flowerless since peonies aren’t in season right now.
I sit on the low wall and pull out my container of cookies, biting into one and chewing on it as I stare at the corner of the garden that used to be hers.
My mom’s.
My throat tightens, and I imagine her crouched in the dirt, hair a mess and clothes filthy, gloved hands covered with dirt that smears over her forehead as she wipes sweat from her brow.
“Hey, Mom,” I say. “I’m sorry I haven’t been out here in a while. I’ve been really busy.”
I set the container next to me, lid off for easy access to the remaining chocolate chip cookies—her favorite. I rub my palms on my jeans and lick my lips, preparing myself to verbalize my truth.
“I—I met my mate,” I whisper, my head tilting up to the stars. They twinkle and tease, reminiscent of the sparkles in Taryn’s night sky eyes. “I met my mate, and she’s… she’s something else, Mom. She’s this passionate, driven, feisty warrior woman. She works her ass off, proving herself to everyone. She’s a lot like you in that regard,” I add, chuckling. “I think you’d really like her.”
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?