Filed to story: Tangled in Moonlight Unshifted Novel by Lenaleia
“Can I ask you something?” I blurt out, unable to bear the tension any longer.
Lucas nods, his expression open. “Of course.”
I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the answer I’m afraid I already know. “Do you… can you feel our bond at all? Even a little?”
His face falls, genuine regret clouding his features. “I’m sorry, Ava. I wish I could say yes, but…” He trails off, shaking his head. “There’s nothing”
My heart sinks, but I try not to let it show on my face. “That’s okay,” I lie, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’ll come back. It has to.”
Lucas shifts in the bed, wincing slightly as the movement jostles his injuries. When he speaks. again, there’s a note of hesitation in his voice. “There is something I’m curious about, though.”
I perk up, hope fluttering in my chest. “What is it?”
He pestures towards my neck, his eyes narrowing slightly. “If we’re mates, why don’t I see my mark there?”
My hand flies to my throat instinctively, fingers brushing over the unmarked skin. “Oh, I breathe, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. “That’s because… well, we haven’t completed our mating yet. We’re fated mates.”
“Why not?” The question is blunt, curious rather than accusatory, but it still makes me flinch. How do I explain the complexities of our relationship? The fears and insecurities that held me back, the external pressures that kept pushing us apart?
It seems impossible to condense it all into a few sentences.
“It’s complicated,” I say finally, hating how inadequate the words sound. “We’ve both had our reasons for waiting. And then there just never seemed to be the right time, with everything that’s been happening.”
Lucas nods slowly, processing this information. “I see, he says, though I can tell from the slight furrow in his brow that he doesn’t, not really.
“But we were getting there,” I add hastily, needing him to understand how far we’d come. “Before all this happened, we were in a really good place.”
“We were?” There’s a hint of something in his voicesurprise? Doubt?
Lucas is quiet, his gaze distant. When he looks back at me, there’s a softness in his eyes that makes my breath catch. “I’m sorry,” he says quictly. “I can see how much this means to you. How much I mean to you. I wish I could remember”
The lump in my throat threatens to choke me. I blink rapidly, trying to hold back the tears that are suddenly burning behind my eyes. “It’s okay, I manage, my voice thick. “You will. Your memory will come back.”
I clear my throat, desperate to change the subject and escape the weight of Lucas’s confusion and my disappointment. “So, um, how’s your healing going? It looks…” My words falter. “Slow?”
A flicker of frustration crosses his face. “No one’s sure. Nothing they run explains why I’m not healing at my normal rate.”
My brows draw together. Something about this doesn’t add up. Alphas heal incredibly fast, even from severe injuries. For Lucas to still be bedridden after all this time… it’s unheard of.
I see why Kellan’s been on edge when he talks about his alpha’s recovery. It isn’t just the memory loss; it’s the entire situation. There’s something weird going on.
“What does your wolf think?”
Lucas stares at me for what feels like an eternity. His golden eyes, usually so warm and full of life, seem dull and distant. When he finally speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper. “My wolf is gone.”
gone?
My mind reels as I try to process what he’s just said. Gone? How can his wolf be gor
“What do you mean, gone?” I ask, my voice trembling. “Like, you can’t hear him? Or you can’t feel him at all?”
His jaw tightens. “I mean gone. As in not there. There’s nothing inside.”
“But that’s impossible,” I protest, leaning forward in my chair. “Your wolf is a part of you. It can’t just disappear. Maybe it’s just dormant. Or maybe hiding from the trauma? Like a hibernation?”
“I don’t know,” Lucas snaps, his patience clearly wearing thin. “I’ve told you everything I know. Which, in case you haven’t noticed, isn’t much. He closes his eyes, taking a deep breath before continuing in a calmer tone. “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this right now. I need to rest.”
Guilt washes over me. Here I am, badgering him with questions. For me, it’s full of concern. For him? I’m a stranger who can’t stop bothering him when he’s clearly overwhelmed. “I’m so sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t be pushing you like this. I’ll go.”
Lucas nods, some of the tension leaving his shoulders. “Thank you for understanding.”
I hesitate at the door, not wanting to leave things on such a sour note. “I’ll come back later today, okay? Maybe we can talk more when you’re feeling up to it.”
To my surprise, Lucas grimaces. “That sounds… exhausting, to be honest. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow. Give us both some time to process everything.”
My heart bleeds with every word, but I force myself to nod. “Of course. Tomorrow then.
As I step out into the hallway, closing the door behind me, I feel like I’m leaving a piece of myself behind.
How long did I get with him? Fifteen minutes?
The Lucas I knowmy Lucaswould never push me away like this. What’s that saying? To appreciate what you have before it’s gone…?
I’m feeling that. Hard.
I make it halfway down the corridor before my legs give out. I slide down the wall, drawing my knees up to my chest as the tears I’ve been holding back finally break free. The sobs wrack my body, and I don’t even try to stifle them. Let the whole damn hospital hear. Let the whole world hear.
My mate doesn’t remember me. My mate has lost his wolf. And now, he doesn’t want me.
“Ava.” D
My head feels like it weighs a million pounds. My ears feel stuffed and woolly. And Kellan’s hands. dragging me to my feet are like burning embers pressed against my skin.
“What?”
“You passed out.”
Staring at him blankly, it takes a while for my brain to catch up to his words. “Oh. Shit. I guess that’s one way to deal with stress; just let your body shut down.
Don’t really recommend it.
and Kellan doesn’t ask questions about my visit with Lucas, just escorts me back to the cottage a makes sure I’m taken care of. Brings lunch I don’t want to eat and promises to check on me in another hour or two.
Of course, lunch is out of the question. My stomach’s too queasy for that. And until Sister Miriam and Selene return, I don’t have a great way to get information on what happened to Lucas’ wolf. I’m definitely not going to tell people he doesn’t have one; the pack needs stability, not another blow.
I’m not even sure Kellan knows.
The thought that Lucas may have trusted me with a little secret buoys my depressed spirits by a millimeter or two.
Maybe, even if he can’t feel it, there’s a part of him wanting to trust me. Knowing I’m his mate.
Even if he doesn’t want to see me for the rest of the day.
Fuck.
It’s like the bill for all the time he spent waiting patiently for me, delivered express mail with cash on delivery. Now it’s my turn to wait and trust and hope.
Water cascades over my skin, hot to turn it pink. It’s my second shower in hours, but I can’t shake the depression clinging to me like second skin. Steam fills the bathroom.
I scrub hard, until my skin is raw and angry red, as if I can wash away the memory of Lucas staring at me like a stranger.
It doesn’t work.
Eventually, the hot water runs out. Dressing in the clothes I was just wearingthey’re still clean. -I flop onto the bed.
Sleep. That’s what I need. Just a few hours to reset my brain and maybe wake up and find this has all been some twisted nightmare.
My damp hair leaves wet spots on the pillow, leaving them for me to discover as I flop from left to right, then from belly to back, struggling to find a position that brings comfort..
No matter how tightly I screw my eyes shut, sleep doesn’t come. Instead, there’s a constant replay in my mind, of every moment of my encounter with Lucas. The confusion in his eyes. The way he spoke like none of our history involved him at all.
The sheets tangle around my legs as I flip from side to side. Minutes stretch into what feels like hours. My eyes burn with unshed tears and exhaustion.
A soft knock at the door startles me from my restless attempt at sleep. Before I can respond, the door creaks open.
“Ava?” Vanessa’s gentle voice calls out.
I’m on my feet in an instant, practically flying across the room and into her arms.
I hadn’t realized how desperately I needed human contact until this moment. The solitude of the past few hours weighs on me, making Vanessa’s presence a lifeline I cling to.
“Oh, sweetie,” she murmurs, rubbing soothing circles on my back.