Filed to story: Tangled in Moonlight Unshifted Novel by Lenaleia
It feels like the entire world keeps throwing revelation after revelation at me, and I’m drowning in a sea of knowledge that I haven’t done enough.
Maybe that’s where this uneasy feeling is coming from.
“Do you regret coming with me?” I ask, almost afraid to hear the answer.
But Vanessa shakes her head without hesitation. “Not for a second. This is important, Ava. What you’re learning here, what you’re becoming… it could change everything. With vampires coming to wolf fights, and these magical portals, and now this city, I feel like we’re all unprepared for what a real war entails. You’re our key to salvation.”
Her words send all of my insecurities straight to my lungs, making it even harder for me to breathe. How can I live up to someone as sweet and caring as Vanessa? Someone who’s willing to stand by me despite my mistakes. Someone who isn’t forced by a fated bond to be with me.
?
“That’s a bit much-“
She cuts me off with her simple words. “But that’s how I feel”
And I, Selene echoes.
“Besides,” she adds with a wry smile, “someone’s got to keep you from burning down the Fae Ward.”
The rune for water swims before my eyes, its curves and lines blurring as I try to focus. My mind, however, has other plans. It drifts to Vanessa, her soft smile as she spoke of Vester. The ache in her voice. The longing.
I know that feeling all too well now.
Lucas. Where is he? Is he safe? Is the pack safe? Do we have more funeral rites coming? Are people hurting? Are our hospitals inundated?
Your brain is so loud I can’t sleep, Selene’s voice cuts through my spiraling thoughts.
Oh, I’m so sorry. Rolling my eyes at her nonexistent self, knowing she can feel it, I drawl mentally, Let me just turn down the volume on my anxiety for you. Wouldn’t want to disturb your beauty rest.
Selene huffs, a sound somewhere between amusement and exasperation. Worrying about things you can’t control is a waste of time. You’d be better off focusing on what’s in front of you. The sooner you master this, the sooner we can leave.
She’s right, of course. Doesn’t make it any easier, but she’s right. I take a deep breath, trying to center myself. “Okay, okay. You’re right. Let’s do this.”
“Is it Selene?” Vanessa asks in amusement. “Whenever you talk to her, your entire face scrunches up.
Damn. Really? I’ve watched them all go a little vacanteyed when they’re talking to their wolves or pack members, but no one’s ever
That’s amharging sghing me pep talk
“You can do this, Ava. Look what you accomplished earlier today? Civing me two thumbsup that couldn’t be more cheesy if she tried. Vanessa grins. “I have faith in you”
Heat flushes in my cheeks. No matter how much care and attention I’ve been given in my time at Westwood, it still feels awkward and wrong to have someone so enthusiastic in their praise of me.
Good, too.
Really good.
That rush of warmth and affection in my heart that’s brought about with a few simple words and encouragement is a little scary. It reminds me a little of how I’d begun to feel a little like I should stay with Clayton, all because he was kind to me and gave me a place to live, despite knowing that it was wrong.
Knowing him a little more nowstijl not very much, but enough to recognize that he didn’t exactly have any sinister designs to throw me back to my pack or anythingIcan see how he was just an alpha struggling to do the right thing and maybe a little too clouded by the heatmating that occurred between us.
1 like him. Selene murmurs. But he is not the one who stirs your heart, is he?
No, he isn’t.
Those flutters I felt toward him; the way I wanted to lean on him and rely on him? They’re the same ones I feel toward Vanessa, who’s been in my corner from the first moment we met. Someone who’s willing to help me, to talk to me, to listen. To get to know my thoughts and feelings. Someone who cares about them.
Someone aside from Lucas, who’s bonded to me. And aside from Lisa, whodespite being my best frienddoesn’t understand my life..
It’s different than Mrs. Elkins, who didn’t know who I was. And it’s different from Selene, who’s another half of my heart.
It’s someone who gives without expecting anything in return. I’m weak to that. I see that now, and it only gets clearer by the day.
There’s nothing wrong in appreciating those who care for you,
Selene murmurs.
Still, it worries me. I’m going to need to be smarter in the future. Make sure I’m not trusting the wrong people, all because they treat me well.
Already, I feel my heart ache at the thought that maybe Sister Miriam isn’t the best person to trust. Or maybe that Magister Orion isn’t the best choice of teacher. Maybe being here in the Fae Ward itself is nothing more than some elaborate trap-
You’re running through too many thoughts again, Selene says, affection from her coming through our bond to soothe my ragged mind. You’re going through everything you can to avoid what’s in front of me.
Right.
.
The magic.
With a deep breath, I purge my head as best as I can, turning my attention back to the rune for water.
I trace its lines with my eyes. There’s that place deep inside me where I felt the fire magic, but when I reach for it, it’s like hitting a wall. I push against it, trying to find a crack, a seam, anything. But there’s nothing. Just like before.
Frustration builds quicker than before. I managed it before, why not now? Visualizing the magic as a door that I need to open doesn’t feel right. I tug at an imaginary handle, knock on its surface, even try to kick it down in my mind.
Nothing.
My shoulders slump.
It feels like I’m just leaning against this invisible barrier now, too exhausted to keep fighting. My arms and legs shake with exhaustion, just like they did after I accessed the fire magic. But this time, I have nothing to show for it.
No burst of power, no flickering flame. Just the trembling of overexerted muscles and the bitter taste of failure.
I open my eyes, blinking away the spots dancing in my vision. The water rune sits there, mocking me with its stillness. I want to crumple it up and throw it across the room, but I resist the urge. Barely.
“This is pointless,” I mutter, more to myself than to Selene. “Maybe I’m just a onetrick pony. Fire and done.”
You’re giving up too easily, Selene chides. Magic isn’t something you can force. It’s about finding the right flow, the right rhythm.
“Easy for you to say,” I grumble. “You’re not the one sitting here feeling like an idiot.”
No, I’m just the one watching you act like one, she retorts, but there’s no real bite to her words.
My lips curve, some of the tension easing from my shoulders as I let out a soft chuckle. “Touché.”
I take another deep breath, trying to shake off the frustration. Vanessa is still and silent in her corner, and I can’t even feel her gaze on me. She’s probably looking anywhere except at me, knowing the stress her regard would put me under.
More than ever, I’m convinced she’s an angel.
Thinking through it again, maybe I’m approaching this all wrong. Fire came to me in a moment of intense emotion, a vivid memory.
What do I associate with water?
I close my eyes again, thinking of the times I’ve felt most connected to water. The gentle lapping of waves at the lake near the pack house, escaping from yet another round of beating—
No. Don’t go there.
Instead, it’s the soothing sound of rain on the windows of Lisa’s apartment. The refreshing coolness of a glass of water, after a hot day of training with Jericho.
None of it feels quite right. I’m missing something, but I can’t put my finger on what.
You’re trying too hard, Selene says softly. Water isn’t about force. It’s about flow, about finding the path of least resistance.
“I don’t know how to do that,” I admit, frustration creeping back into my voice. “I’ve spent my whole life fighting to survive. How am I supposed to just… flow?”
By letting go, she replies simply. Stop trying to control it. Let it come to you.
I want to argue, to point out how impossible that sounds. But I’m too tired to fight anymore. So instead, I just nod and close my eyes again.
Visualizing nothing. I don’t reach for the magic or try to force it. I focus on my breathing, on the feeling of air moving in and out of my lungs. On the steady beat of my heart.
Just existing.