Chapter 169 – The Alphas Contract Novel by Taylor West

Filed to story: The Alphas Contract Novel by Taylor West

“He loved everything.” she says quietly. “He was fun. He was happy. A pain in the ass most of the time but happy.”

Her tense body starts to relax into me. “Revenge ruined him, Raven.”

“Why did he stay with her?”

“From what Mallory said, I don’t think he had a choice. I think Blair was forcing him to live a life she wanted. Maybe she even saw it as an opportunity. She pushes herself up from my lap and moves over to Jenson. She removes the tube from his throat and gently closes his eyes. Cupping his face, she finally tells him goodbye. A silent tear stains her cheek as she pulls the bed sheet up over him.

Raven’s head drops as she moves back to me. “I need to sleep.” She whispers, keeping her gaze low. “Midnight needs to sleep.”

It had been a long time since I hadn’t had to force her to rest. “Then let’s go home.”

As she steps through the doors of the pack hospital, Dane is waiting and immediately pulls her in for a hug though she doesn’t hug him back.

In some ways, I wish he hadn’t let this go on for so long, but then I knew at the same time, he was trying to keep Raven’s hopes up.

Klaus passes word and heads inside. Probably to prepare Jenson for his cremation. Though there wasn’t much left to do, other than place him in the casket that Dane has had prepared for well over a month.

sus without saying a

“Let’s get you home.” Dane whispers softly to his sister.

There is an eeriness to the pack as we walk to the house. Wolves pause as we pass by, dropping their heads a little, but it was the quietness that made it seem strange. No chatter, no children charging around. They all felt the loss. Maybe it was more that they could feel Danes loss, though he doesn’t show it.

Whatever it was, It was clear that the respect for their Alpha is strong.

Raven makes her way up the stairs, insisting that I didn’t need to go with her. “I’m just going to crash.” She gives me a weak smile.

“I will be up to check on you.”

She shrugs her shoulders and carries on.

“She just needs time.” Dane tells me as he turns into his office.

“Time? Says the man who left his brother on a ventilator. Raven’s depression could have been dealt with long ago rather than watching her fade right in front of me.”

“No one grieves the same way.”

“Including you?”

“I accepted his death.”

“Have you? Because what I just witnessed suggests that you still feel it.”

“How I feel has nothing to do with you!”

There is a crash above us preventing me from disagreeing. I’m out the door before he is. Racing up the stairs two at a time with Dane right behind me. While I run in the e

direction of my room, Dane crashes through his bedroom door.

Raven is out cold on the bed. She didn’t even undress before sprawling out like a starfish on top of the blankets. Quietly and quickly, I close the door just as Dane calls out to me.

In Dane’s bedroom, Dane is standing in front of Neah with wide eyes. But Neah isn’t in human form.

Neah

“OW!” I land on my back a little hard and just lie here, stunned by the pain. My energy was almost non-existent and I was done practising for the day. There are only so many times I can deal with the breaking of bones in one afternoon.

‘Better.’ Nyx mutters “You have almost nailed it.”

I had been practising in secret for weeks. Shifting into my Lycan without Nyx’s help and it was far from easy. I wanted to give credit to all those that could shift without help.

I had given in a few weeks ago and actually spoke to Nyx, trying to find out why she was forcing herself forward and her answer was always the same. ‘I’m just trying to protect us.’

My body and mind had worked so hard to keep her from entering my thoughts that it was becoming impossible to keep her out. She was a constant. A piece of me that I couldn’t suppress no matter how much I didn’t want her in my head.

I fought against her. Every waking moment I tried to keep her out of mind, wishing that she would stop sharing her opinion, hoping that she would just give up. But she never stopped and the more I pushed, the more she pushed back.

“I want the darkness to go away.” I had muttered one day. “I want you to go away.” I hadn’t wanted to become a monster. I hadn’t wanted to become something that fed on blood and flesh. I still don’t.

‘Do you know what makes us better than the rest?’ She had asked me during one heated discussion, ‘Our blood.’

‘I don’t know what that means.’

‘We are better than the others. Stronger. Powerful. A leader of Lycans. And you know it!’

I had laughed at her words that day and caught Abraxas watching me from afar. A dark look on his face that had me disappearing into the training hall and out of sight. I didn’t want or need his opinion, especially while he kept silently torturing his mate, Maddie.

‘Does it scare you?’ Nyx had asked me one night after I had put the twins to bed. I hadn’t even needed to ask what she meant because I knew exactly what she was talking about.

‘Of course it does. I’m not any of those things that you keep saying I am.’

‘Because you still don’t believe in your capabilities, Neah. You still don’t trust me and that is what is holding you back. We are one, Neah. Neither of us can survive without the other because this is who we are meant to be. You treat me as though I am a separate being instead of accepting me as part of you. Look at Jenson, he is dying because he lost his Wolf.’

At the time, her words made me question a lot of things. But more importantly, was she right? Was I responsible for my own struggles? ‘You need to practise shifting.’ She had declared when I said I was willing to listen.

‘I can’t… I will become..’

‘No you won’t, Neah, you have to trust me. You have to trust yourself.’

Now almost three weeks later, I’m lying on the bedroom floor with

Dane and Damien staring at me. The secret was officially out and I inwardly groan. I wanted to keep it quiet until I was a hundred percent sure I could shift without asking Nyx to do it for me.

“Neah?” That single word is full of so much doubt and annoyance from Dane as he stands over me. He hated it when I kept secrets. It wasn’t supposed to be a secret, but a surprise, like tada, I figured out how to do something without his help.

I pick up my claws to acknowledge the men while my heart hammers in my chest. The shifting is getting easier and quicker, but I always end up crashing to the ground, unable to hold my balance.

When Nyx had pushed forward, she had always made it feel like a breeze. ‘Because you keep moving. You need to practise while still.’ she mutters in amusement.

Slowly shifting back, my neck cracks and then my back arches off the floor as my bones realigned. Nyx promised it would get easier and the pain would be less but right now, my body felt like it was on fire as everything slots back into the right place and I’m almost grateful I’m naked.

I had learned quickly to practise in the nude. Ripped clothes would be suspicious and only draw questions.

Dane grabs a blanket from the bed and quickly wraps it around me. His crimson eyes give me the once over. “Why?” He asks

“I’ve been practising.” I mutter back, stretching myself out and feeling a few more bones crack. There was no point in lying, he would be paying close attention to my mind now.

“Too fucking right.” He stares at me with his crimson eyes.

“Practising? As in you are letting the darkness in and then pushing it back?” Damien asks.

“No.” I frown, because I still couldn’t fully explain it. “You said it was hard. You told me that once the darkness gets in it’s difficult to get back out. That it’s almost impossible. That’s not true. Mallory did it, Salem did and so did you.”

“With a lot of hard work.” Damien replies in annoyance

“Hard work for you.” I mumble and he glances to Dane. “It’s not for me, not anymore.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Damien, you told me that there is a reason the Rogues have a darkness in them before they turn. You told me that it’s different for everyone. That it was something from their past that made them that way. But me,” I snort, because it has taken me far too long to see it. “I was born with this. It makes me who I am. I am not dark and I am not light either.”

“Neah, that’s Nyx talking.” Dane frowns at me

‘Of course he blames me!’ Nyx mutters

“No, it’s not. I spent so long fighting her. Thinking of ways to free myself from her. But I finally stopped to listen and I learned something.” I shake my head and get to my feet, tugging the blanket around me, I tie a knot to keep it up over my chest. “I’m not supposed to get rid of her.”

“Neah…” The men look at each other like I had lost it.

Dane shakes his head, “Neah, Brax said…”

“Abraxas said a lot of things. He told you that the darkness fills my cracks. And he’s right, but his reasoning for why Nyx does is wrong. was trying to block Nyx, She was fitting in the gaps to try and make me whole, make me strong. To help me function better. It has never been about controlling her or her controlling me. I had to accept her. I had to accept what I am.”

“None of us really know what Brax sees,” Dane shakes his head. “But he has enough exper….”

“He’s not dealt with a Lycan Alpha before.” I say in a hurry.

I move in front of my mate, staring up into his crimson eyes. “There was a reason my parents had me bound as a child. Don’t you see, it all adds up. They were afraid. When the binding’s failed, they pretended that Trey was the next in line, not me. But they created me. The last female Lycan Alpha.”

Nyx cheers as I make it clear who and what I am.

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