Filed to story: Submitting to My Bestie’s Daddy Read Online >>???
“Neal, you, of all people, should know that. I wouldn’t judge you like that.”
My quick response caused him to glance at me again as another scoff left his lips that I didn’t understand. “You didn’t see the way that you looked at me when I told you that. You looked at me as if I was some foreign stranger trying to kill you.”
I couldn’t believe that that was what he thought. It wasn’t that I thought he was going to kill me. What I thought was that he had kept these secrets from me and hid them. Lying to me about who he was as if I couldn’t handle the truth.
“That is so far from the truth, you have no idea,” I replied, trying to make him see reason as I slowly took his hand in mine. “All I want for you to do is be honest and not feel that you have to hide shit from me. We all have parts of ourselves that we’re not proud of, and yes, I am shocked that you are the kind of person that could have done something like that, but it doesn’t make me think any less of you.”
I didn’t know what to say to try and make the situation any better. There were no words to really help the matter, but from the look of things, one thing Neal did need was time to process that he had told me what he did, and honestly, I needed the time to process exactly what he had said.
“I’m sorry.” It was the only response that he could give me as he turned away from me, pulled his hand from mine, and made his way across the bedroom.
“Don’t let this pull us apart,” I whispered, watching him refuse to face me. “I’m going to go get in the shower, and I think you should do the same. Then if you want, you can come join me in my room and watch a movie with me.”
He didn’t bother to acknowledge what I had said or even look at me. But I knew very well that he had heard what I had offered, and without saying another word, I turned from the room and closed the door behind me as I stepped into the hallway.
To no surprise, Allegra stood there waiting with her hands at her side and a defeated look on her face. “He told you?”
Nodding my head, I turned from her and went further down the hall towards where I was sleeping. I didn’t really want to have a conversation with her, but from the sound of her footsteps behind me, I felt she wouldn’t let me go until I did.
Not bothering to close the door behind me as I made my way into my room, I heard the door shut softly, and as I turned, Allegra stood there with tears in her eyes as if pleading with me not to change my mind about her brother. “Becca, I can explain.”
“There’s no need to explain anything, Allegra,” I replied, holding my hand up to stop her from talking. “We all have pasts that we’re not proud of. What hurts me the most is that the two of you thought you couldn’t tell me the truth. After everything that happened with James, you should have told me.”
“I know, and I wanted to so many times, Becca, but Neal’s story wasn’t mine to tell, and had I done that, it would have just caused more issues. Not to mention there were so many things going on at that point in time—”
Allegra rambled on, trying to explain why she did what she did and that she hadn’t meant to deceive me. However, the thing was, she didn’t realize I wasn’t angry at her. I wasn’t even angry at Neal.
I was more upset that they felt they couldn’t talk to me about something like this.
There was no doubt that I had my own reservations about everything. Especially knowing that Allegra and Neal were actually Russian, knowing that they came from a long line of assassins and that they had killed more people than I wanted to even know about.
At the end of the day, though, they both were people who had been there for me more times than I could count, who had had my back through everything, and had even risked their own lives to come into James’s home to rescue me.
The two of them had come in to try and save me. To save my unborn child.
I would be forever grateful for what they had done, and because of that, I could overlook the past issues that they had tried to hide away. “It’s okay, Allegra, honestly.”
She paused for a moment, her lips quivering as she nodded her head. “You don’t hate me?”
“No, I don’t hate you.” I chuckled, pushing a smile onto my lips that surprisingly wasn’t forced. “Am I a little shocked to know that the Duchess of Fashion was actually a trained assassin? Yes, but you surprise me quite often.”
My comment made her laugh. And with it, the tension in the room quickly died down, and smiling faces appeared before the chaos. “I’m glad that you’re not angry at me. I don’t think that I could honestly take you being angry at me.”
“Stop worrying, Allegra. Now I’m going to climb in the shower, and I’m getting in bed to watch a movie. I told your brother that he could join me if he wanted to, but honestly, I don’t think that he will. Not sure if you wanna go check on him and make sure that he’s okay.”
Nodding her head, she turned and quickly exited the room, and once again, I was left with my own thoughts. The hot shower that I had wanted to take before sounded better and better, and as I moved towards the bathroom, turning on the shower head, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was more that Neal hadn’t told me.
Not in a bad way, but I felt bad for him that he’d had to keep all of this to himself.
Nobody deserved to go through all that without anybody to lean on, and even though it seemed like he and Allegra were very close, I couldn’t help but wonder if I needed to be the rock that he could turn to in his time of need.
Also, I wondered if all of the nightmares that he had been having were simply because he was a young boy who hadn’t asked for that life but had been thrown into it without a choice.
Something that I would have to find out in time.
Neal.
When Becca left, my emotions rolled through me like a thunderstorm over a grassy field. I couldn’t believe that I had acted the way that I did. She hadn’t deserved it, and honestly, I felt nothing but remorse swelling through my body like an angry viper looking for a way out.
After everything that she had been through lately, and all the countless times I had stood by her side, I had never given her a reason to doubt me, to doubt my allegiance to her, to doubt the safety that she felt with me, until she found out the truth.
Even though she said she was okay, I saw it in her eyes, the resentment, the anger… and all of it because I couldn’t be f*cking honest with her about who I was.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I held my head in my hands. I had been foolish to think that I was someone that could be desired. Never had I been a man to care what other people thought. But when it came to Becca, I cared deeply. And that was because I was in love with her.
Without warning, my bedroom door flew open, and Allegra stood there with an angry scowl upon her face that quickly turned into a gentle, soft expression as she closed the door behind her. “Oh, Neal.”
I didn’t want pity from her, but it was obviously what she was going to give me whether I wanted it or not. “Llook, don’t interfere. What’s been done is done—”
“Nothing is done, you idiot,” she snapped at me, cutting me off mid-sentence before I could say anything else. “She asked, and that alone should speak volumes for how much she cares about you.”
Coughing, I rolled my eyes and looked towards the window. The sea outside was slowly growing darker and darker as the sun set behind it. “How could she ever honestly care for someone like me, let alone trust me after the past, I explained to her?”
“I don’t know. But she does, and that’s all that matters,” she replied, trying to make me see reason. “Now, put this pity party behind you, and go get showered. She is waiting for you in her room. The invitation she gave you wasn’t for no reason.”
Quickly shooting daggers in Allegra’s direction, I narrowed my gaze. There was no way in hell that Becca wanted to see me after everything I had just told her. “That invitation wasn’t an honest one. She was only saying that because she felt guilty.”
“You’re a complete f*cking idiot. You do realize that?” she snapped as she rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. “ I swear, sometimes I don’t even know how you’re related to me.”
I didn’t have time for Allegra’s games, and as I stood, I stormed across the room, into the bathroom, and slammed the door. Hopefully, that was enough of a hint for her to take her leave. The last thing I wanted to do was have another argument. My emotional state couldn’t handle it.
I was typically a strong-willed person, a man who never let his emotions take charge. But for some reason, Becca bringing up my past completely made all of that void, and I found myself unable to focus on anything other than how I had upset and disappointed her.
“Neal, I wish you would realize that she loves you in her own way. She loves you, and nothing you will ever do will ever stop her from loving you. Right now, she needs you. She can’t have you fall apart when she’s already lost so much.”
I knew what Allegra was saying was true, but it didn’t mean I agreed with her.
There was no way that I could get past the fact that Becca knew the side of me that I had kept hidden for so long. Letting a sigh escape me, I walked towards the shower and turned the water on, hoping that Allegra would get the hint to f*cking leave.
No matter how much she tried to be the comforting older sister, right now wasn’t the time or place for it. Right now, I just wanted to be alone.
*****
James
A week passed since I had called Neal, and every moment that I sat trying to make my life normal in some essence in my apartment in Tokyo, I found myself losing control. Trying to pass the time, I spent a lot of it outdoors, wandering the city streets and even venturing deeper into the heart of Japanese culture.
I couldn’t help but feel that I had walked into a completely different world here, a world where I was the alien that everyone stared at. It wasn’t a bad thing, honestly. Most of the people were far kinder than those in the states.
Everyone seemed to smile, and those who didn’t seem to typically keep to themselves.
Which again… I was okay with it.
“America!” A soft voice called from across the street. Turning, I locked eyes with the mysterious woman from before and watched as her smile lit up her face while she made her way toward me.