Filed to story: The One That Got Away
I give him a get real look. “Please, Louis. I know her well and so do you. Well, I did know her well. But I don’t think people change at the core. They are who they are.”
Slowly Louis says, “That’s right. You two were BFFs back in the day.”
“We were friends,” I agree. “I wouldn’t call us BFFs, but…” Wait a minute, why are we talking about me again? “Everybody knows it was Genevivian who told Jamila’s parents. You don’t have to be a detective to figure out that Genevivian was jealous of her. Jamila was the prettiest girl in our grade, next to Genevivian. Vivian was always a very jealous person. I remember this one time my dad bought me a…”
Louis’s staring at me in a thoughtful way, and it’s all of a sudden making me nervous.
“What?”
“Let’s just do this for a little while.”
“Do what?”
“Let’s let people think we’re a couple.”
Wait … what?
“It’s driving Vivian crazy not knowing what’s up with you and me. Why don’t we let her sit with it a little longer? It’s actually kind of perfect. You date me first, and then Vivian will get it that we’re over. You’ll be breaking the seal.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “Do you even know what breaking the seal means?”
“Yes, of course I know what that means.” I have no idea what that means. I make a mental note to ask Chris the next time I see her.
Louis comes up close to me, and I scoot backward. He laughs and cocks his head to the side and puts his hands on my shoulders. “So then break my seal.”
I let out a nervous laugh. “Ha-ha, sorry, Louis, but I’m not interested. In you.”
“Well, yeah. That’s the whole point. I’m not interested in you, either. Like, at all.” Louis shudders. “So what do you say?”
I shrug my shoulders so his hands fall away. “Hello, I just got through explaining to you how Vivian will kill any girl that goes near you!”
Louis dismisses this. “Gen’s all talk. She’d never do anything to anybody. You just don’t know her like I do.” When I don’t say anything, he takes my silence as encouragement, and he says, “It would help you out too, you know. With that kid Josh. Weren’t you so worried about losing face in front of him? This could save you from more humiliation. Because why would you be with him when you could be with me? Well, pretend be with me. Strictly business though. I can’t have you falling in love with me too.”
It gives me great pleasure to look up into his Handsome Boy face and sweetly say, “Louis, I don’t even want to be your pretend girlfriend, much less your real one.”
He blinks. “Why not?”
“You read my letter. You’re not my type. Nobody would ever believe I would like you.”
“It’s up to you. I’m just trying to do us both a favour.” Then he shrugs and looks over my shoulder, like he’s bored with this conversation. “But Josh definitely believed it.”
In a flash, without even thinking, I say, “OK. Let’s do it.”
Hours later, I’m lying in bed that night still marvelling about it all. What people will say when they see me walking down the hall with Louis Kavinsky.
The next morning, Louis is waiting in the parking lot for me when I get off the bus. “Hey,” he says. “Are you seriously taking the bus every day?”
“My car is being fixed, remember? My accident?”
He sighs like this is somehow offensive to him, me taking the bus to school. Then he grabs my hand and holds it as we walk into school together.
This is the first time I’ve walked down the school hallway holding hands with a boy. It should feel momentous, special, but it doesn’t, because it’s not real. Honestly, it feels like nothing.
Emily Nussbaum does a double take when she sees us. Emily is Gen’s best friend. She’s staring so hard I’m surprised she doesn’t take a quick pic on her phone to send to Gen.
Louis keeps stopping to say hi to people, and I stand there smiling like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Me and Louis Kavinsky.
At one point I try to let go of his hand, because mine is starting to feel sweaty, but he tightens his grip. “Your hand is too hot,” I hiss.
Through clenched teeth he says, “No, your hand is.”
I’m sure Genevivian’s hands are never sweaty. She could probably hold hands for days without getting overheated.
When we get to my locker, we finally drop hands so I can dump my books inside. I’m shutting my locker door when Louis leans in and tries to kiss me on the mouth. I’m so startled I turn my head, and we hit foreheads.
“Ow!” Louis rubs his forehead and glares at me.
“Well, don’t just sneak up on me like that!” My forehead hurts too. We really banged them hard, like cymbals. If I looked up right now, I would see blue cartoon birdies.
“Lower your voice, dummy,” he says through clenched teeth.
“Don’t you call me a dummy, you dummy,” I whisper back.
Louis heaves a big sigh like he’s really annoyed with me. I’m about to snap at him that it’s his fault, not mine, when I catch a glimpse of Genevivian gliding down the hallway. “Gotta go,” I say, and I dart off in the opposite direction.
“Wait!” Louis calls out.
But I keep darting.
I’m lying on my bed with my pillow over my face reliving the horrible kiss-that-wasn’t. I keep trying to block it out, but it just keeps coming back.
I put my hand to my forehead. I don’t think I can do this. It’s all so… I mean, the kissing, the sweaty hands, everybody looking. It’s too much.
I’m just going to have to tell him I changed my mind, and I don’t want to do this any more, and that’ll be that. I don’t have his number, and I don’t want to say any of this in an e-mail either. I’ll have to go to his house. It’s not far; I still remember the way.