Filed to story: Love on the Sidelines (Natalie & Karl)
“Are you sure?”
His hand stopped moving. “Do you feel married to him?”
“No. I haven’t for a long time.”
“Do you feel guilty?”
“Not in the least.” I stretched. “I feel wonderful.”
“So tell me, if we started making love at five minutes before midnight, and didn’t finish until after, would that make it adultery for the first part and not the last?” I tilted my head sideways and pretended to think about it for a second. “I don’t know. Why don’t we try it and find out?”
I’m happy to report that I felt no different before midnight than I felt afterward.
Yet another time he started the conversation. “Did you do this tonight just to get even with Hugh?”
We were lying spoon fashion, Karl’s front pressed firmly to my back, legs twined together. “No.” I didn’t even hesitate. “I didn’t care enough about what he was doing to want revenge.”
“But you were so damn upset earlier.”
I turned over, pushed Karl onto his back, then lay across his chest so I could look at his face. “Yes, I was. I’d just found out that someone I loved and trusted has been using me all these years. I don’t know. Maybe I used it as an excuse. But the truth is, I’ve wanted this from the second you walked into the store that first day. I just couldn’t admit it to myself. Tonight, you were there when I needed someone the most, needed you the most.”
His hand slid down my back. “I always will be.” He hesitated. “But I don’t think Jenna was using you, Peewee. I saw her face when she realized you’d figured it out. She was scared right down to her toes. She loves you, too.” With a sigh, I rested my cheek on his shoulder. “Maybe. I need time to think about it, sort it all out in my head. And I don’t want to do it now.” I felt his lips curve in a smile against my hair. “What do you want to do?”
“Guess.”
He got it right the first time.
After that we slept, curled together on the narrow bed, bodies tangled as though afraid the other would vanish if we let go for a single instant. Once, I woke up and just lay quietly, watching his face with a touch of awe. He was so damn beautiful that it set an ache burning in my middle, the same feeling I got from watching a glorious sunset, or seeing a work of art that touched me.
Even relaxed in sleep, his face was ruggedly male, the stubble of a night’s growth of beard shading his jaw, raven hair tousled from hours of lovemaking. He was magical, a lone wolf that had chosen to subdue his strength, rest a while among mere mortals. And this magnificent creature wanted me. It was almost more than I could believe, and a streak of pure fear hit me at the thought of losing him again, a distinct possibility when the past dangled over us like the sword of Damocles.
I couldn’t go on this way much longer. For the sake of my sanity, we had to get the past out into the open and deal with it. Until we did, I couldn’t let myself love him completely, couldn’t open myself to more pain. There was only so much one person could stand, and I’d reached my limit.
But for tonight, this one single night, I only wanted to be with Karl, to let go and love him unconditionally as I had before, no matter what tomorrow might bring. And so I snuggled down beside him, smiling when his arms came around me and pulled me closer.
When I next woke, it was to a slow-building heat and a sensation of delicious friction. I opened my eyes to find Karl watching my face intently as he made love to me. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve dreamed about waking you up this way?” he whispered.
“How many?” I arched to accept him more completely.
“Every damned day of my life.” A low groan rumbled in his chest. “Christ. I’d be in a room full of people, start thinking about making love to you in the morning, and then I’d spend the next half hour trying to hide the results.”
“I kind of like the results,” I murmured. “It would be a real shame to let it go to waste.”
He threaded our fingers together, closed his eyes, and touched his forehead to mine. “You may regret saying that when I show up at Southern Supply this afternoon and drag you to bed.”
“Not a chance,” I whispered. By then, our breathing had quickened and any possibility of rational conversation fled, lost in pure desire. It was nearly dawn and we were both caught up in the realization that, all too soon, our night together would be over. And so we prolonged the moment as long as possible, until we couldn’t deny our parting another minute.
“I have to get ready for work,” I said quietly.
“I know. And I need to get out of here before the crew shows up next door.” Swinging my feet to the floor, I watched him pull his jeans on. He caught me staring and smiled.
“Can I see you again tonight?”
I took a deep breath and expelled it in one solid puff. “That depends.” He paused. “On what?”
Nervously, I clenched my hands in my lap, but I was determined to get this over with. “On whether or not you’re ready to talk.” His gaze drifted away from me, and I saw the tension in his jaw. I sat there waiting while images only he could see flashed through his mind. Abruptly, he nodded.
“Tonight.”
I stood, rose on tiptoes and kissed him. “Thank you.” He put his hands on my shoulders and shook his head. “Don’t thank me until you hear what I’ve got to tell you.”
“There’s something I have to tell you, too.”
We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Hastily, I grabbed my robe and shoved my arms into the sleeves, belting it as I moved across the room.
To my surprise, Aunt Jane was standing on the other side. “Is something wrong with the Judge?”
“No, he’s fine. But Jenna called. She said she’s been trying to reach you all night and couldn’t get through. I thought I’d better come over and check on you.” Her gaze drifted past me to the phone that I’d taken off the hook last night and then onward to Karl. She smiled, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners.