Filed to story: The Alpha’s Pen Pal Book
Every fear, every insecurity, every reason I’ve pushed the idea of the mate bond away for so long sits right there in my kitchen, in the form of my dad. And all of it rushes back to me, reminding me why and planting seeds of doubt, sprinkling them between the flowering determination that began blossoming during our training yesterday, like weeds in a garden.
If she becomes my everything, then I have everything to lose.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, pulling my focus away from the depressed male in my kitchen, the male who isn’t my father, but a shell of the man he was before my mom died. I drift back into the hallway, hiding in the shadows made by the rising sun as I pull my phone out of my pocket.
My Girl: Sir, yes, sir! 😉
Even with my weighted thoughts threatening to turn me back into the male I was before I met her, I chuckle to myself at her response. Then I lock my phone and put it back in my pocket, heading out of our apartment without a glance back towards the kitchen. I’ll grab a bagel and a water bottle in the packhouse kitchen.
I love my dad, but I don’t have it in me to be his caretaker today. Not right now, at least. Maybe later, after the tournament is over. After I’ve worked off some steam. I doubt he’ll recover before then.
I reach the field, cleared of snow already by whichever unlucky warrior trainee drew the short straw last night, and I cross my arms as I watch our warriors warm up. The winter sun is bright, but its warmth doesn’t reach us like it does in the spring and summer. A chill lingers in the air, so strong you can smell how cold it is. The lake is frozen, and the entire forest is dusted with layers of snow, clinging to and covering the needles of the redwood trees.
It’s exactly how Haven envisioned it for her and Wesley’s wedding. A winter wonderland.
And while it’s beautiful, I can’t bring myself to appreciate the view. After the events of this morning, my mind spins and spirals, a whirlwind of whys and what ifs. Why can’t she feel the bond? Why can’t I find information on reasons a wolf might not feel their mate bond? What if she hates me when she learns the truth?
Or what if she doesn’t? What if she wants me? And what if… what if I lose her someday?
“Are you okay?” Sebastian asks, sliding up beside me as I overlook the training grounds.
My brow furrows. “Yeah, of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs, crossing his arms and mimicking my stance, gazing out at the stretching warriors. “Just lately, it seems like you’re tied up in knots. It’s a wonder you haven’t needed to see a chiropractor.”
My spine goes rigid, my heart skips a beat, and my stomach drops to my feet. I look at him out of the corner of my eye, not turning my head at all.
His eyes are on our warriors, observing them. He doesn’t notice the effect his words have on me, doesn’t realize how on the money he is.
Or does he? I can never tell with him.
“I’m a little stressed, I guess. Wesley’s been busy helping Haven with wedding stuff, which means he’s delegating more tasks to me. I’m sure I’ll be fine once they’re back from their honeymoon and things go back to normal around here.”
“There are three of us to cover those jobs, you know,” Seb says. “Don’t feel like you can’t ask Nolan or me for help just because you’re the beta.”
“I know.”
“Alpha Benjamin and his warriors are here,”
Wesley mindlinks us.
“I’ll get our warriors ready,” I reply.
“Listen up!” I say, strolling out onto the field. All our warriors freeze, standing up straight and facing me, waiting for my instructions. “The Amber Forest warriors are here. I expect you all to be on your best behavior and in top form for all the races today. Let’s show them what it means to be a Crescent Lake warrior!”
Everyone whoops, hollers, and howls, clapping their hands and moving into their ranks as Wesley approaches us with Alpha Ben and his warriors. They go silent as soon as Wes is in front of them, all of them standing tall, their eyes on him, waiting for his orders. I glance at Ben’s warriors and notice a similar posture and respect from his people, although here and there throughout his ranks, there are individuals whose demeanor doesn’t match those around them.
It’s not surprising, though. While Ben is a strong and strict alpha, cleaning up his pack after his dad’s psychotic reign can’t be an easy task. I doubt three years has been enough time to fix that damage.
“The first race will begin in five minutes,” Wesley says, his deep, authoritative voice echoing over the pack grounds. “Finish whatever stretches you need to, then meet at the starting line for the sprints.”
“Yes, Alpha!” our warriors shout in unison.
The Amber Forest warriors nod, and with an extra look from Ben, the warriors at the front of their squad, their leaders, turn and face the rest of the group, leading them in stretches. I spot Ben’s younger brother, Oliver, among them, near the far left side, in the rank right after the squad leaders.
“I see your brother is moving up the ranks quickly,” I say as he and Wes approach Seb and me.
He smiles, looking over his shoulder to watch his brother. “He is,” he says, not attempting to hide his pride. “Being out from under our dad’s thumb has benefited all three of us.”
“How is Nicole?” Wesley asks. “I haven’t seen her or Alton since Haven and I visited the Vigne Della Luna vineyard in Paso Robles almost a year ago.”
“She’s great,” Ben says. “She’s expecting another pup.”
“Another?” Sebastian asks. “How many is that? Three now?”
Ben nods, and both he and Seb look at Wes. “Why are you both looking at me like that?” he asks. “I’m in no rush. I’m ready whenever Haven decides she’s ready. Which she’s not.”
“Has your brother found his mate yet?” Seb asks Ben.
“No, he’s only twenty.”
“And you?” Wes asks.
Ben frowns, his lips pursing. “Still searching and waiting for her.”
Wes claps him on the shoulder, a smile on his face even with Ben’s frustration. “Don’t give up hope. You’ll find her when you’re supposed to.”
Sebastian’s lips tip into a half smile at Wesley’s words, and I turn my focus back out over the field, hiding my face from them. I don’t need them to see the effect Wesley’s words have on me. I blow out a breath, my shoulders relaxing and my feet carrying me across the field and through the warriors making their way to the starting line.
The wolves from our pack and Ben’s mingle, chatting and stretching as they get ready for the races today. The alliance between us and the clear friendship, trust, and respect between Ben and Wesley have only been for the betterment of our two packs. Even with the stragglers left from Tiny Tim, and even though we’re gathered for a competition, the overall atmosphere is one of camaraderie.
That thought, though, is ruined when I reach the starting line.
New Book: Veiled Desires of the Alpha King Novel
Dayson was the alpha of the largest pack in North America. Powerful figures from other packs sought to offer gorgeous girls as potential mates for Dayson. He steadfastly rejected these advances, he was not a pawn to be manipulated. But eventually there came a mysterious girl he could hardly say No. Who was she?