Filed to story: Tangled in Moonlight Unshifted Novel by Lenaleia
My throat tightens. The tears come hot and fast, blurring my vision. Two lives lost, not just one.
“Why was she out here? Why was she guarding me? She was pregnant. If I hadn’t come along, maybe she wouldn’t have been here, either.”
Wrapping my arm around her shoulders, I pull her close. She’s trembling, though whether from cold or emotion, I can’t tell.
“I killed her.” Lisa’s voice breaks. “Marisol. I burned her alive and I’d do it again. What does that make me?”
“A survivor.” The word comes out fierce, protective.
Kellan adds, “You protected yourself and your people. You did a good thing.”
Lisa shakes her head. “I enjoyed it. Watching her burn. I wanted her to suffer. But she didn’t even scream.”
My heart aches. I know that feeling, that mix of satisfaction and horror at your own capacity for violence. The way it haunts you afterward. I can still feel the power of my magic as I took down vampires. The same beings who terrified me long ago.
Now I know I can stand up to them, but there are nightmares all the same.
“She was pregnant.” Lisa’s shoulders shake under my arm. “Mira was pregnant and I couldn’t save her. I was right here and I couldn’t—” A sob tears from her throat. “I should have been faster. Should have seen her coming. Should have—“
“Stop.” I pull her closer, pressing my cheek against her hair. “This isn’t your fault. None of this is your fault.”
Her body shudders as the tears finally come, harsh and raw. I hold her tighter, letting her cry against my shoulder.
“This wasn’t how our trip was supposed to go,” Vanessa murmurs, watching as an entire horde of wolves descend upon us.
Vester leads them all. Apparently there was a huge ruckus over the position, but Lucas lost because he was terrible at rock-paper-scissors. (I didn’t know important things could be decided by a fist or two fingers, but there it is.)
Instead, our venerable Alpha—my beloved mate—sent orders in no uncertain terms. Get Ava’s ass home as soon as possible, taint be damned. According to Vester, that’s a direct quote.
Until we know what’s going on, it’s too unsafe for me to be far from Wolf’s Landing.
It’s a typical Lucas move, but I can’t disagree with the decision, even as my stomach churns at the idea of leaving that dense patch of corruption behind.
Crunching a small patch of pristine snow beneath my boots, I wait as people discuss and confer and do all their tactical-minded decisions. It leaves me, Lisa, and Vanessa off to the side, just waiting for our escort home.
Being around here with so many wolves should make me feel more at ease. There’s protection everywhere, right? But that also means there are more potential targets. More lives I’m responsible for.
Mira’s loss is already too much to this pack of aggressive rogue wolves and a vampire’s thrall.
Lisa’s shoulders stop shaking as she wipes her face with the back of her hand. Her eyes remain red and puffy, but the wild panic from earlier has settled into something quieter. More controlled.
“Why was she even out here?” Lisa’s voice cracks. “She was pregnant. She should have been safe inside the compound.”
“Lisa—“
“No, I mean it. Who lets a pregnant she-wolf take guard duty? What kind of pack puts their pregnant women in danger? It isn’t right.”
“The kind of pack that respects a woman’s right to choose her own path.” Vanessa’s voice cuts through the frigid air, firm but not unkind. A tone carrying the weight of her experience. “We’re not delicate flowers to be wrapped in silk and hidden away.”
Lisa blinks, taken aback by the healer’s sharp response.
Her voice softens. “I knew Mira. We’ve been friends for years. She’s come to me over her concerns about her pregnancy, and also came to me about continuing her duties as a scout.”
“But why would she risk—“
“Because that’s who Mira was.” Vanessa settles beside us, her hands folded in her lap, as she answers Lisa’s question. “She never sat on the sidelines. Not once. Even before joining Westwood, she was known to be a decent scout. She was always proud of that.”
The wind whistles by us; it’s been slowly picking up speed as the day goes on.
“She volunteered for this mission,” Vanessa continues. “No one assigned her. No one forced her. She chose to be here because she believed in protecting others.” A pause. “Just as she chose to protect you today.”
Lisa’s breath hitches.
“By taking responsibility for her choices, you diminish the strength she showed throughout her life. Mira knew the risks. She accepted them. And she died protecting what she believed in.”
“But her baby—“
“Was part of her choice too.” Vanessa’s hand rests on her own stomach, so subtle I almost miss it. “We’re wolves, Lisa. Our children are part of our strength, not our weakness. Mira understood that better than most.”
Lisa’s fingers twist in her lap as she absorbs Vanessa’s words. “I just… I keep thinking if I hadn’t been here…”
“Then someone else might have died instead. Or worse.” Vanessa’s voice remains steady. “Mira made her choice.”
Glancing toward her mate, the healer adds, “It looks like they’re done talking. We’ll be heading home soon. You’ll feel better after a hot shower and some sleep. It won’t take the pain away, but it’ll help calm your mind.”
Vanessa’s words might sound harsh to human ears, but there’s a raw truth to them that resonates with my wolf nature. Death walks hand in hand with our kind—we face it, accept it, honor it. The price of freedom is steep, but it’s one we choose to pay.
Still, I understand Lisa’s pain. Because I, too, carry the weight of every wolf’s death on my shoulders.
“Come on.” I take my best friend’s arm, steering her toward the sled. “You need to rest.”
“I can walk.” Lisa plants her feet in the snow, stubborn as ever.
“You’re still in shock. Your body needs time to recover.”
“But—“
“No buts.” I shove her onto the sled, arranging the furs around her. “The last thing we need is you collapsing in the snow.”
“Second to last thing,” Vanessa corrects me.
Startled, I glance over my shoulder at the healer, who’s smiling wryly. Lisa, however, laughs. She seems to understand.
“Yeah, Ave. That means you aren’t allowed to collapse, either.”
Oh. Now I get it.
Lisa sinks into the pelts, her resistance crumbling as exhaustion claims her. The shadows under her eyes tell their own story—one of grief, guilt, and the death of Marisol. Her joy at disintegrating the woman will probably haunt her dreams for the rest of her life.
“I’m fine. I haven’t done anything in two days. I can handle a walk back to Wolf’s Landing.”
Vanessa nods, surprising me with her lack of argument. Then again, what else am I supposed to do? Sitting on the sled just makes more work for the guards, and I can’t steer the sled because I have no idea what I’m doing.
“Kellan is going to lead Lisa and the others home on a quick run. We’ll follow behind. But we’re going to need to be fast. We can’t let them get too far ahead in case they need our help. And Vester will take the others to track down the rogues.”
You’ll have to use your magic, Selene translates. The trail is already broken, so it shouldn’t be too hard on you.
Grimoire, still in his child form, bounces on the balls of his feet. You have plenty of magic stored. It will be good to use it. You haven’t expended much of what you’ve purified.
He’s got a good point there. “Sounds like a plan.”
Lisa sits beside me on the couch, cradling a steaming mug of hot chocolate.
“I should have killed her sooner. When I first met her, I knew something was weird about her.”
“You couldn’t have known she would do something like this.” The couch cushion dips as Lucas settles beside me. “Taking on the responsibility of her choices will just lead you down a road of madness. Don’t blame yourself for this. None of us expected them to show up again.”
It’s a terrible oversight on all our parts, but it’s been months, and the world has changed. While we still knew danger was out there, none of us actually expected the Mad Prince to show up again. At least, not like this.
Furious with myself for being so complacent, I mutter, “I should have kept better tabs on Dakota Sanctuary. Crazy vampires don’t stop being crazy because the world ends.”
Lucas’ words brook no argument. “We had to focus on surviving. We barely had enough wolves to defend ourselves, let alone spy on other territories.”
“But—“
“No.” His fingers brush my chin, turning my face toward his. “You did what you had to do. We all did. I kept security on the both of you in case anything happened, but I too bear this blame. Neither of you need to take this responsibility on. Do you understand?”
His eyes flick to Lisa, too. And Kellan, standing in the corner with deceptive calm, despite radiating frustration and fury. I may not be able to sense the pack bond, but I can definitely feel that.
Lucas shifts, his expression hardening as he thinks. “Did this Marisol say anything before…”
“Before I burned her alive?” Lisa’s laugh holds no humor. “No. She just asked if I missed her.”