Filed to story: Swallow Me Whole (Sadie & Ashton) Book Free
Weakens my limbs with the scrape of his teeth down my throat.
Five minutes will never be enough. A lifetime with him won’t ease the intense longing taking over my soul.
“Let me come home with you tonight.” He’s holding me so close and tight that every hard inch of him is pressed against me, including his cock. “I missed you so much this week.”
“I missed you too.” My eyes sting, threatening mutiny, but the last thing I want to do is cry in front of him. Or fall into bed with a married man.
Again.
“I can’t do this,” I say, voice breaking as I bust free of his arms. I’m practically sprinting toward escape, but as I reach the top of the stairs and risk a glance over my shoulder, I find him propping his forehead against the wall, his hands forming fists on either side of his head. I’d do anything to take away his anguish.
To see him happy.
And it cracks my heart in two because if he ever finds happiness again, it can’t be with me.
23. After the Depravity
Jules
Voices blend together in a cacophony of celebration. The band’s house is overflowing with people and music. A cloud of smoke drifts in the air, as does the scent of beer and mixed drinks.
I’m plopped in the corner of the living room in a beanbag chair, doing what I promised I’d never do again.
“Girl, you are wasted.”
“Am not,” I mutter. But even in this heady, I-don’t-give-a-fuck stupor, I’m aware of my weak denial.
Garen flops onto the beanbag chair with me and tosses an arm over my shoulders.
“You so are.” His breath flits across my cheek, and I catch a hint of whiskey. It reminds me of Cash tonight.
Slightly intoxicated. Walls down. Desire running rampant.
He has no fucking idea how hard it was for me to walk away.
“Who has no idea, gorgeous?”
Did I say that out loud? Shit. This is exactly why I shouldn’t drink. I say and do stuff I don’t mean to.
“I’m not sleeping with you,” I slur.
“I don’t fuck drunk chicks.”
“Don’t let anyone else fuck me either.”
“We don’t hang around with sleazes, so no worry there, babe.”
“Just checking.” The room seems too dim. I’m so tired. So fucking heartbroken. And limp from the booze. I lean my head on Garen’s shoulder. “It’s happened before.”
“What has?”
“Someone fucked me. I don’t even remember it.”
“That’s fucked up, Jules.”
“I know. Shouldn’t’ve done it.”
“No, I mean it’s fucked up he did that to you. That ain’t right.”
“Lots of things aren’t right.” I curl into his side, eyes closed, and he tightens his arm around me. “I’m in love with someone I can’t have.”
“That sucks. Been there myself.” He shifts, and I hear liquid sloshing, and him taking a long swig of his chosen poison.
“This is why I don’t drink. Can’t keep my big mouth shut.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.”
“You’re a nice guy, Garen. Anyone ever tell you that?”
“Not very often.”
“Why’s that?”
“I break too many hearts.”
“Maybe you should stop.”
“Or maybe you should get your player hands off my bestie,” Les says. I drag my eyes open and find her standing in front of us, arms crossed.
“Hey, bestie,” I say with a drunken smile.
“Good God, you’ve been drinking. Like seriously fucking drinking, Jules.” She pulls me up by the arm.
“So maybe I have,” I say, stumbling after her as she leads me away from the crowded living room. We enter the hall, and I lean against the wall for a moment, waiting for my surroundings to stop twirling around me.
Around and around we go.
That’s what Cash and I have been doing—dancing in a continuous circle of agony.
Lesley props me up. “Do you need to barf?”
“Uh-ummm.”
“Is that a no?”
“Hmm.”
“What the fuck were you drinking?”
“I had a…I think a few of those fruity drinks Zan was making. And some shots…I think…”