Filed to story: Swallow Me Whole (Sadie & Ashton) Book Free
“Born and raised.”
“What’s it like living there?”
“Well, the weather sucks most of the time and traffic is horrendous, but it’s a beautiful city. It’s home. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” He shifts in his seat and eyes me. “Where are you from?”
“A small town on the outskirts of Oklahoma City.” Unwittingly, my thoughts drift back to the place I still consider home, even though I have no intention of returning to the disaster I left behind anytime soon. The magnitude of what I’m doing hits me all over again, and I can barely believe I went through with this insane idea.
I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving. Only Lesley knows of my plans. Shortly after tossing a bundle of clothes into a suitcase, I’d turned my cell off, growing tired of hearing how the world was coming to an end. Mom wouldn’t stop calling until I answered, but I hadn’t wanted to deal with her bullshit. My thoughts drift to my sister, and I imagine her standing on my doorstep after her shoot ended, confused that I wasn’t there waiting.
My eyes sting again, and this time I’m not sure I can stop them from purging the hurt. Suddenly, the obsidian void beyond the window is fascinating. It’s a lot safer to look at than the man at my side.
“Hey,” he says, his voice so soft I barely hear him over the constant drone of the engines. “You okay?”
“Uh-huh,” I mumble, nodding and holding my breath. But the back of my throat aches with unshed emotion.
Fuck. Don’t break down now, Jules.
“You don’t seem okay.”
Panic wraps around me. For the first time in my life, I’m about to stand on my own two feet. No Chris. No family. I’ll have Lesley, which is definitely a comfort, but it isn’t the same. I want…no, I need to find my way, and I’m absolutely terrified of failing.
If I hadn’t drunk myself into a night I couldn’t take back, would Chris and I have made it? As much as we fought, I honestly don’t know how long we would have lasted. And for the first time since he walked out on me this morning, toothbrush and all, I question if maybe…
If maybe him leaving was for the best.
If maybe it’s fate.
My heart revolts at the thought, ricocheting an ache through my chest that makes it hard to breathe. Fear of the unknown shrinks my lungs, and though I’m not prone to panic attacks, I wonder if I’m about to have one now, 35,000 fucking feet in the air.
His touch is back, shooting warmth through the thin sleeve of my T-shirt where his hand rests on my shoulder. “What’s your name?”
“Jules,” I say with a hard swallow.
“Can you breathe for me, Jules?”
I like the sound of my name coming from his lips. Deep and soothing. Nodding, I suck in a breath, dragging it to the bottom of my lungs, and risk a peek at him. He’s turned toward me in his seat, dark brows furrowing in worry.
And his hand…
God, he’s still touching me, and I’m the worst kind of person because I don’t want him to move away. But he does, and I blink as my heartbeat slowly calms.
“I-I’m sorry. I’ve just had a really bad day.” I almost laugh at the understatement.
“I can relate. Count me in on the Bad Day Club.” He lets a beat pass then exhales. “Feel like talking about it?”
I’m saved from answering, as the flight attendant stops by with our drink orders. She gives him his bourbon before handing me a soda. I clasp both hands around the glass and look down into the bubbly dark liquid.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“You’re welcome,” she says. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.”
Silence is always awkward between two people who don’t know each other, but the quiet that settles over us now takes it to a whole other level—an exciting yet scary one. From the first moment I looked into his eyes, the earth seemed to stop. And when he touched me, bringing me back from the edge of fear and despair, my body came alive. Why I feel safe enough to confide in him, I’m not sure, but maybe I just need to break the disquiet.
“I’m not just visiting my friend.”
“I sensed a story there,” he says, and the weight of his scrutiny tingles down my spine.
I sip my soda and watch the nothingness outside the window. It’s easier to talk when I’m not facing him. “My life kinda fell apart this morning. Next thing I know, I’m on a plane.” A lengthy pause goes by. “I’m not going back.” I’m not sure if I’m trying to convince him or myself.
He lets out a low whistle. “That’s a gutsy move.”
A mocking laugh rumbles in my throat. “It’s a cowardly move.”
“How so?”
Biting my lip, I shoot him a furtive glance. “I fucked up, and instead of dealing with the consequences, I ran away.”
“I wouldn’t peg you for the type of person not to own up to a mistake.”
“Oh, I own it completely. But I can’t make it right, and I can’t take it back. Apologizing didn’t matter. He left anyway.”
“Your boyfriend?”
“As of this morning, my ex
-boyfriend.”
He falls quiet for a few moments, and I wonder if he’s judging me. Coming to certain conclusions like everyone in Whiskey Flats will undoubtedly do.
That I’m a slut. A cheater. Someone without morals.
But that’s crazy thinking. He doesn’t know me well enough to judge, and I didn’t tell him all the dirty details.
“How long were you together?”
“Since high school.” I don’t mention the on-again off-again nature of my relationship with Chris.
“I’m sorry, Jules.”
I shrug, but on the inside, I melt from the way he says my name. Part of me wants to know his name, and part of me willingly falls into the safety net of anonymity. After I step off this plane, I know I’ll always remember him as my sexy stranger.
“Do you believe in fate?” I look at him then, holding his seductive gaze with a boldness I don’t feel. But I cling to the facade anyway, losing myself to this surreal feeling of looking into a stranger’s eyes and not seeing a stranger at all. Something deep inside me responds to him in a way that confuses me. Rattles me.
I sink into the idea that I somehow know him.
He blinks after a few seconds, and the moment is gone. “Fate…like in a higher power?”
Tilting my head, I shrug a shoulder. “Maybe. I don’t know.”
Right now, I want to believe in something as nebulous as fate. I want to believe that I’m meant to be on this plane heading for the unknown. That the destruction of my life this morning had a purpose other than to grind my heart to dust.