Filed to story: Swallow Me Whole (Sadie & Ashton) Book Free
He grabs my hands and yanks them away from my face. “And I can’t believe you tried sucking me off in public.”
I gulp.
His icy blue gaze smolders with intensity, roaming my face, studying each nuance of my features. “You confuse the hell out of me.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For confusing me, or for sucking my cock?”
Every part of me grows warm. My cheeks, my chest, my toes…and everything in between. The fuzzy memory of last night starts an inferno in my veins. I mentally flip through the recollections like TV channels. His steel shaft wrapped in warm, smooth skin. Skin like velvet. His soft tip between my lips, leaking silky desire onto my tongue.
The gagging.
The groaning.
His fingers tightening in my hair, pulling at my scalp. Begging for more. His muscular thigh tense under my hand.
No matter how embarrassing, I can’t regret going down on him. It was a ballsy thing to do, a humiliating thing to do. What’s done is done, and now my secret is out. Despite my inexperience, I crave things my father would disown me for.
“I’m sorry for confusing you. Last night confused me too. I’ve never done anything like that before.” I try to extricate my hands from his, but he won’t allow it.
He leans closer, his lips parting the slightest bit, choppy breaths fanning my mouth. “If it’s experience you’re looking for, I can help you out there.”
Time screeches to a halt. My pulse speeds up, and my hands go sweaty within his grasp. His chest rises and falls too fast.
I affect him. Me. The girl he wrestled with in the mud when we were seven. The girl he picked on by pulling my pigtails. But more surprisingly is how he’s affecting me. One drunken, thoughtless act shifted the foundation of who we are.
What we are.
Friends…
More than friends.
It might be undefined and unvoiced, but I suspect neither of us can deny what’s happening here. Not after last night.
“I don’t think…” Damn, I can’t keep my gaze from drifting to his mouth. My lips have touched his cock, but I’ve never kissed him. How crazy is that?
“Don’t hold back now, Sadie.”
“I…it’s not…I mean…”
“Not a good idea?”
“Yeah.”
Slowly, he lets go of my hands and puts some distance between us.
Why do I feel so disappointed?
“You know I’d never hurt you, right?”
Not physically, but emotionally?
“I have eyes, Ash. You break hearts for a living.”
“Are you saying I have the power to break yours?” He seems too interested in the answer to that question.
“I’m saying you’re one of my closest friends. I don’t want to risk losing you.”
“I can be your friend and still be…more.”
I read between the lines of his words. Experimenting with him will be safe. He won’t hurt me, won’t judge, and he won’t expect anything more. He isn’t the settle-down-in-a-relationship type of guy.
And that’s the problem. I don’t know myself well enough to know if I can play around without getting my heart involved. The thought of risking what we have, of allowing our friendship to go into turbulent waters, is terrifying.
It’s about as un safe as you can get.
Deep down, I know I’ll only grow closer to him through the act of intimacy. And after he walks away, I’ll want to tear out the heart of the next woman he brings into his bed. It doesn’t matter that she won’t spend more than a few weeks with him. Doesn’t matter that he’s open about being a manwhore of epic proportions. That’s a line that isn’t worth crossing.
I open my mouth to say thanks but no thanks.
“Okay.”
But that comes out instead. Why does my mouth keep doing things that will get me in trouble?
He sucks in a breath. “Are you sure?”
No.
“I trust you.”
“Before we do this, I need you to know something.”
“Okay,” I say, dragging out the word with caution.
“I like to be in control.”
“What does that mean?”
He leans forward, planting a hand on either side of my body, and invades my space in a way he’s never done before.
Like he owns the air I breathe. Like he owns me.
“It means I call the shots.”
I blink, stunned. Ashton’s never come across as the dominating type. Okay, well maybe a little. He’s always been super protective of his sister and me when we were kids. Truth be told, he still is. And now that I give it thought, he never asks for what he wants. He doesn’t have to since he always makes his intentions clear from the get-go. He carries himself with confidence that borders on cocky.
Unless you know him like I do.
Like I thought I did. His words from last night drift back to me, untainted despite my drunken state at the time.