Filed to story: Shhh Professor! Please Don’t Tell! Novel Free
I looked up. My blood was ringing in my ears. He must have seen us together this afternoon. He must know what was happening.
“What’s wrong?” Jackson said, frowning in concern. I was staring blankly ahead, my mind wading through a slosh of anxiety.
Professor Spaulding had offered to meet with me until late that night. That wasn’t normal. It would have sounded inappropriate under other circumstances, offering to see a student alone that late at night.
It was a trap. He was forcing me to prove that I was on campus like I should be. That I was able to stop by and talk to him for a few minutes sometime between now and midnight.
I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t pretend I had some all-night fraternity event. He would be able to check with the co-ed fraternities I’d joined and find out that there was no such event.
“I got an email,” I said, my eyes flooding with tears, “from Professor Spaulding. I think he knows I’m here.”
Jackson’s jaw tightened. He walked over to me. I held out my phone, showing him the email. Jackson took it.
“I wasn’t going to tell you,” he said. “I didn’t want you to worry. But he spoke with me outside my office just before I came to pick you up. That’s why I was late. I think he must have seen us talking earlier.”
I took a shaky breath.
“Okay,” I said. “I’ll go back to campus. I’ll go talk with him.”
“No, Ellie,” Jackson said, wrapping me up in his arms. “We can’t keep running from him forever. Let him think what he wants. Tell him you’re somewhere else. Tell him your parents are in town and you’re off campus for the night.”
I held Jackson tightly, pressing my skin against his. I wanted to protect him. I couldn’t.
“I don’t want to lie,” I said.
“I’ll just get fired,” Jackson said, offering it up as if it was something that didn’t really matter. “We’ll just accept whatever is coming.”
“He can’t prove anything,” I said. “I just won’t respond to his email. I can easily pretend I just didn’t see it.”
“He’ll just try to trap us again,” Jackson said.
“I know,” I said.
We held still for a few moments, holding onto each other. I treasured the feeling of his chest rising and falling against mine.
Finally, Jackson pulled away from me.
“Go take your shower,” he said, kissing my head. “I’ll make us some dinner.”
“Okay,” I said. I bolstered myself and smiled but I felt nauseous with anxiety. I felt like this was my fault, somehow. I shouldn’t have talked to him in broad daylight like that. What an idiot I’d been.
“Go pick out something to wear in my bedroom,” he said. “Pajamas, shirts, anything. Dinner should be ready in another hour or so.”
I left the kitchen and walked through a short hallway to the foyer and then started up the grand staircase. I remembered the way I’d watched Jackson walk down it in his 19
th
century costume and felt my heart ache. If I had known then what was going to happen, would I have made all the same choices? Would I have let myself love him like this, even when it endangered his reputation?
I slowly climbed the stairs, my clothes bundled up in my arms. A draft from the massive room below me blew against my skin.
I reached the top of the staircase and looked down the hall. I stared for a moment at the spot where Jackson and I had almost had our first kiss. I remembered how afraid I’d been of losing my reputation. Those feelings felt like something out of the distant past. I didn’t care at all about my reputation anymore.
Just Jackson’s. He was definitely going to lose it and get fired from a job he didn’t keep for even one year because he had sex with one of his students. It would be a scandal. Everyone would see it the wrong way. Everyone would see him as lascivious. People would never respect him the same way again.
I located Jackson’s bedroom. A giant king-sized bed took center stage in a large room with navy blue walls lined with black and white photographs hung in staggered patterns. Large windows, located behind the bed, looked out across the vineyard.
I walked over to the windows and stared out across the landscape. The sun was starting to set, tinting the sky with a flush of pink. The trees surrounding Jackson’s house stretched bare fingertips to the sky, their branches blowing in the wind.
It felt like a castle on a hill. I shivered. I didn’t feel safe anymore. It was as if whatever we did would be found out. I had not been careful enough since Professor Spaulding had warned me not to get involved with Jackson. I had not handled this well.
I thought about insisting that Jackson take me back to campus that night right away. I could go talk to Professor Spaulding. I could assure him that I had not been with Jackson. I could get Annie or Jasmin or Cynthia to lie for me and give me an alibi. I could start dating a boy on campus to dispel the rumors about me and Jack…
I took a deep breath.
No. No, I wouldn’t do any of that.
Jackson was choosing to take this risk for me, and I would let him.
I walked into the bathroom adjoining Jackson’s bedroom and momentarily forgot my worries. My jaw dropped.
“Oh, my goodness,” I whispered.
I had an impulse to run all the way back downstairs to tell him how amazing his bathroom was.
A triangular whirlpool tub made of black marble rested in a corner, surrounded by potted plants. Gold lamps hung from the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the pale green walls. I couldn’t wait to be in here with Jackson. There was also a shower, located behind a glass door in the wall. I turned it on and stepped inside, lathering my skin with Jackson’s body wash, which smelled like sandalwood.
It felt a little like washing my worries away. The fragrance of the shampoo and the warmth of the water were soothing. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a big, fluffy towel. I turned my phone on airplane mode.
Tonight was tonight. We could deal with all of our worries tomorrow.
“I’ll see you later.”
I leaned my head inside the window of Jackson’s car and kissed him.
“Have a good day,” he said. “Thanks for sleeping over.” He said it boyishly, a helpless grin on his face. I laughed.
“Anytime,” I said.
He paused. His eyes flickered across my face.