Filed to story: The Healer and The Wolf PDF Free
There was, yet again, no answer for an extended time. With anyone else, I would think they were offended. But with Leo, I was willing to guess that he had no idea what I was talking about.
“Do you remember what a shower is?”
“I… no.”
Drat. He’d gone from sounding happy and full of wonder to bewildered again. Guilt roiled in my belly for ruining his mood.
“It’s where you wash yourself. With water that can be heated or cold.” I kept my voice as gentle as I could. “Would you like me to show you to my upstairs bathroom?”
“Uh, yes. I would like that.”
“Are you decent?”
“Decent?”
I took a deep breath, willing myself to be patient. I wasn’t upset with him, but I was getting flustered with myself and all my missteps. “I mean, are you still clothed?”
“As much as I was before.”
“Good.”
I turned around slowly, just in case Leo was a bit misinformed by exactly how dressed he was. Both relief and the tiniest sliver of disappointment slithered through me when I saw he was as covered as he’d been since his transformation. Thank goodness for small mercies. Although, there wasn’t a lot about the man that was actually small.
“Here,” I said, offering my hand and pushing my thoughts decidedly out of that direction. “Let me show you. It’ll be good for you, I swear.”
Leo took a long look at my palm, then my face, before slowly putting his hand in mine. His skin was rough and surprisingly hot. Did shifters run at a different temperature than humans? Perhaps. I’d certainly learned of stranger things in the past twenty-four hours.
Together, we went upstairs, and I pulled him into my small bathroom. “So, this here is the tub and the shower. You can take a bath in this if you want by stopping the plug down there.” I pointed while I explained, trying my best to go slowly. “But I recommend showering really thoroughly before you do, otherwise you’re kind of just soaking in filth.
“You control the shower with these knobs here, that can affect the temperature. This one is hot. This one is cold. If you use the toilet and flush, that could make it…”
I trailed off when Leo looked so utterly overwhelmed. It truly did make me feel bad for him, especially when he looked down at his own filthy body.
“I’m still stuck as more of an animal than a man, aren’t I?”
Fucking heartbreaking.
My throat tightened at the sorrow in his voice. I didn’t know what to say because the whole situation was completely outside of my depth, but I felt so sorry for him. He was essentially getting a crash course in humanity after it had been stolen from him for far too long. He was almost like a POW in a way, locked away from society and desperately trying to reintegrate.
His vulnerability touched me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. Despite his intimidating appearance and the fact that he could shift into a wolf, Leo was clearly very much out of his depth.
I made my voice as soothing as I could. “Would you like a little help?”
Leo’s posture visibly relaxed, and relief flooded his handsome features. “Would you?”
I nodded, swallowing hard, trying to square my shoulders like I knew what I was doing. “Of course. Whatever you need.”
LEO
I felt like a fool.
A failure.
An idiot.
Being human again was a complete shock to my system. It had come out of nowhere because I wasn’t even aware that I could be human. But I could, and ever since, I’d been so blinded by all the wonderful sensations that came from having thumbs, furless skin, and human tastebuds again that no negative thoughts could really reach me. I was almost a child again, seeing the world in brand new wonder.
Reading the books I’d found in Ven’s home had done something to my mind. I was now more
Leo than ever, but that just made me much more acutely aware of everything I had lost.
I’d had family. People I loved. Responsibilities. Important ones. Where were my people, and why wasn’t I protecting them? I was pretty sure I had been cursed, yet I had no memory of being cursed or even who would want to do that to me. So, why did I believe that?
It was a growing tumult in my head. As I stood in front of the shower in Ven’s bathroom, I realized my brain was still little more than wolfy sludge. I was missing entire chunks of what it meant to be a man.
What if I never got it back?
That sounded like pure torture. I didn’t want to live some sort of half-life where I wasn’t quite man and not quite a wolf, either. As I stood in the bathroom, though, staring at the shower, knowing it was an important room and an equally important task, part of me just didn’t want to comply.
In fact, that part of me was outright refusing. It was as if my mind was balking at processing any more of my humanity and wanted to force me to fall back into the simplicity of the wolf.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Ven’s voice called me back to reality, and despite the furor whirling inside me, I followed it. Her tone was gentle, with no derision or condescension. She didn’t judge me for panicking. My hands, although almost foreign to me, were deadly weapons that could rip and tear, but she held them gingerly, as if I were something precious, something valuable.
Her touch was a lighthouse in the dark, beckoning me to safety. But there was something more to it. An electric current that made me want to lean in, wrap myself up in her, and know everything about her-her soul, her past, that gorgeous body of hers. She was kindness just as much as desire, appealing to the wild and the man in me.
Even if I still couldn’t really remember who that man was.