Filed to story: Submitting to My Bestie’s Daddy Read Online >>???
It felt good making up with my mom. It pained me more to try and stay mad at her. When she turned to leave me alone once more, I found that the sad emotions stayed back with me and lingered.
I laid my head back and allowed the tears to flow. I tried wiping my face and continuously sniffling, but it was no use. I missed my father, and I went on to wonder what he would be like now if he were still around.
Suddenly my door cracked open, and I saw Elio trying to look in on me.
“I heard you sniffle. Can I come in?”
*Caterina*
I wasn’t entirely expecting to see or hear from Elio so soon.
He was a completely different case to be dealt with than my mom. I was glad to have cleared the air with her but didn’t know if I was ready for the conversation with Elio. And from the worrisome look in his eyes, I could tell that even he knew that.
My heart had jumped into my throat when I heard my door begin to creak open. I’d quickly turned my head and saw Elio standing on the other side, waiting for my approval to step in. His voice sounded small and laced with concern.
I hastily wiped away what remained of my tears and quietly cleared my throat.
“Yeah, I guess,” I said.
Elio wasted zero time stepping into my room, closing the door behind him, and moving to sit beside me. I felt the mattress dip as his muscularly larger frame took up the space. He placed his arms around me, and I became engulfed in his familiar and comforting scent of him.
I allowed myself to melt further into his arms. My body was thankful for the reprieve of being held up by someone, whereas my mind was currently vacationing somewhere else.
For a good while, neither of us spoke. I believed it was safer that way. I was in no mood to hear any more possible excuses for his reasoning to keep me in the dark about everything involving my father. Had the look on my face been any indicator as to how I felt, Elio would’ve been wise not to test me. So, in the meantime, I simply accepted the comfort that he was offering.
But for a good while we remained in tranquil silence. Elio occasionally rubbed up and down my arms, and I kept telling myself to keep taking deep breaths in. At some point, the tears stopped falling and I was able to regain a better sense of focus.
My mother and I were somewhat back on decent terms with one another, but I had no clear idea where that placed Elio and me. Because of our ‘specific’ arrangement, he and I were not on the same level as though he were another guardian.
It was quite the contrary.
Because of who we were to each other, I genuinely expected more from him. I’d truly hoped that if anyone could see me for who I was, it would be him.
Then again, perhaps there was more to Elio that I had failed to recognize.
When I’d first heard the word ‘mafia,’ my mind went into a hundred different directions, yet every one of them led me to the same disturbing inner thoughts… danger, corruption, scandal… murder.
I didn’t like any of it. And to think that my father was once part of it all made my skin break out into millions of uncontrollable goosebumps.
Elio must have sensed my tension and immediately turned his head to glance down at me. His voice was soft, though it still held its usual roughness as he spoke.
“Are you okay?”
My breath wavered in my lungs. I could’ve scoffed in response to such a question. My brows drew together in part of my honest response.
“I don’t know,” I told him.
It wasn’t much of an answer. As vague as it was, it was the truth, which was more than I was clearly receiving from him.
Once more, we fell into another bout of silence. But unlike the first round, this seemed to be filled with a lot more weight. It was as if the obvious question was hanging above our heads, and I was the only one who was willing to address it.
My stomach twisted in protest, but I needed to know.
“Do you ever wish you were in that life?” I asked him.
This time, it was Elio who started to tense up. The arm he’d draped around me seemed to have tightened for a brief moment before forcibly relaxing. He let out a long breath as though to signify that his answer was just as complicated as my question.
“Sometimes,” he answered.
Elio pulled back both his arms, and I instantly felt myself growing cold once more. He readjusted himself back a little to better face me. I missed the security that his body gave me when he was closer. Yet if this was how I was going to get an honest conversation out of him, so be it.
“It’s not as easy to talk about as you may think,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and held back a brazen remark. “Believe me, Elio. I’ve never given this subject much thought before now,” I hissed. “So, I’m going to ask that anything you do say on the matter better be nothing short of truthful, alright?”
Elio closed his eyes for a few seconds and let out a long, withheld breath.
“Caterina.” He ran a rough hand through his hair. “The thing about the mafia is that it’s not something that can so easily be described as simple. It’s complicated in its own right because it puts the ideas of morality and human decency to the test.”
So, in other words, he was saying that people who chose to get involved in such a business were expected to strip away anything and everything that made them a socially acceptable person. They had to trade in their life and be expected to give it to some else entirely. But for what? What could possibly be worth that sort of a trade?
I didn’t understand what could draw a person to such a life. Was it for money? Power? A chance to commit some kind of heinous crime and not be touched by the authorities?
No. Surely people in that particular business knew that they couldn’t really remain elusive to the police. What sort of life was worth living if it meant having to constantly be on alert from the cops, right? Right?!
To think that Elio had even considered that caused another cold shiver to race through me. This time it was I who moved back slightly from him.
“I can tell that your mind is moving a mile a minute,” he said lightly. “Cat. Please talk to me. What are you thinking about?”
I shook my head. “I’m thinking that you’ve got to be out of your goddamn mind to even think about wanting to get involved with that kind of business,” I said sternly.
To my surprise, Elio didn’t try to bite back at my harsh remark. Instead, he’d given me an unanticipated smile and chuckled.
“You sound just like my parents,” he said. “They’re not too fond of the idea either, especially my dad, considering that he and my mother have far too much personal experience with that particular lifestyle. I guess that accounts for their grizzly opinions about it.”
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. The more he was telling me, the more I felt my mind cracking into pieces. His parents… had I not spent countless hours with the three of them growing up to not notice something that astronomical?
‘Remember, Cat. You’re the one who requested that Elio start being a hundred percent honest with you,’ I thought weakly to myself.
I felt deflated and slightly betrayed by my own inner thoughts.
‘Oh, shit. I did say that, didn’t I?’
Nevertheless, I directed my attention back to Elio. “If that’s true, then why would you want to commit to something so dangerous as that?”
He reached out to stroke the back of his fingers down the length of my arm. He tilted his head to the side and spoke calmly.
“Cat, believe me. It’s not as if I spend all my waking hours pining over the idea of someday joining the mafia as our dads did,” he explained. “It’s just that sometimes, late at night, I tend to get into my own head about things.”
“About what though?” I asked cautiously.
“About your father, for instance.”
My brows raised as he went on.